Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“You are safe here.” Maddie’s voice cut through the darkness. When I opened my eyes, she was in front of me. “Azrael is not hurt, he is just a baby crying for his mama because he is hungry.” I looked to Lilah who was walking away with Azrael. “He is safe. See? All the babies here are safe and happy. No one is hurting them.” I nodded, but I felt like I was coming out of my skin—my veins, and blood, and bones all trying to crawl out of my body, to get the fuck away. I was hot. I felt too fucking hot, and I couldn’t stand still. “Let us sit down.”
I gripped Maddie’s hand and sat down at a table. I pulled her onto my lap when she tried to sit on the seat beside me. I was keeping her close, real close. I kept my hands away from her stomach. She said I wouldn’t hurt her, but I knew I better. I had to protect her. Maddie leaned in, laying her head on my shoulder when I struggled to sit still. I breathed in her scent. I wrapped my hand in her hair and let her calm me. Maddie started talking to Mae. When she spoke, the sound vibrated from her back against my chest. When she laughed, my fucking lungs stopped being so damn tight and allowed in air. I had to keep her here. If she stayed with me, I wouldn’t hurt any of the babies with my flames.
Viking and AK pulled chairs round the table beside us. Rudge, Hush, Cowboy, Tanner, Tank, Bull and Styx came next. Beau was there too. He was the new prospect. He was patched in last week along with Samson and Solomon. They weren’t prospects like Ash or Zane. Styx had given Beau, Solomon and Samson more responsibilities. They were allowed to take part in church. They didn’t have to do any of the grunt shit.
Beau sat next to Tanner. Tanner said something to him, and Beau smirked. I watched them. They were brothers. Samson and Solomon sat down next. They were brothers too, twins. Samson said something, I didn’t hear what, and Solomon laughed. Brothers. Beau and Tanner. Solomon and Samson. They were brothers. Was that how brothers were meant to be?
I didn’t ever laugh with Ash. He didn’t laugh with me. Looking just like someone we both knew, brother… You gonna hit me, Josiah? I heard Ash’s voice in my head. He said I was like my poppa. I didn’t think I was like my poppa. But he thought I was. I didn’t want to be. Poppa hurt my mama. He hurt me and Ash and Isaiah.
Maddie turned her head to look at me. Her eyebrows were pulled down. That meant she was worried. She placed her mouth at my ear. “You are fine, baby. I love you.” I love you… I held onto her tighter. I froze when I suddenly wondered if my poppa had flames in his blood too. If that was why he was always angry, why he hurt everyone.
Solomon and Samson laughed again, Samson holding onto Solomon’s arm. I watched them and realized I knew fuck all about how to be a brother. How did they laugh like that? I didn’t ever get anyone’s jokes, could barely tell when they were telling a joke. I didn’t laugh. It never felt right when I tried. My laughter was forced, and I always laughed at the wrong thing or at the wrong time and people would stare. I wasn’t a brother to Ash, like Beau and Tanner, or Solomon and Samson were to each other. I didn’t fucking know how to be. Ash was fucked having me as a brother. Isaiah… I killed Isaiah. But I’d have been a shit brother to him if he’d lived.
“Jesus!” Vike shouted and shook his head. “Are we old as fuck or what? This the kind of fun we gotta have in the bar now? Babies and cups of tea, like we’re the fucking Queen of England. Where’s the pussy and whiskey?”
Ky closed in behind Vike holding one of his kids and smacked him upside his head. “Vike, shut that ugly mouth or I’ll shove my size thirteen boot up your ass.”
Vike smiled, waggling his eyebrows. “That a promise, Veep?”
“You need to get yourself a woman, Vike,” AK suggested. “You’re one of the fucking oldest brothers in the chapter. Middle aged now, yeah?” AK smirked.
Vike’s mouth dropped open. “I’m aging like a fucking fine wine, brother.” He lifted his shirt to show his muscled stomach. “You ever seen an old man with a body like this?”
Vike stopped talking and stared at something across the room. I watched Ky holding his kid. I tried to imagine holding my kid that way. I couldn’t even see it in my head. My blood rushed through my ears. I could never hold them that way.