Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 36387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 121(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 182(@200wpm)___ 146(@250wpm)___ 121(@300wpm)
“Over my dead fucking body. You try that shit they won’t get here in time to out the fire this time. Now get your ass in the house and stop annoying the fuck outta me. It’s Christmas for fuck sake.” Fucking female was born to make me nuts.
“Which house?” See, just fucking with me on the regular. I grabbed her arm and dragged her back to my place. The little shit didn’t realize that since I tower over her I could see the sweet little secret smile on her face. She played my ass like a fiddle.
Next time she tries this shit I’ma play along for real see how she likes that shit. Serve her ass right! Twit!
16
Joyann
Ooh, barely scraped by that one. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I was the one who’d called things off, so why had I spent the last two days miserable? Why had I found myself looking out my window at his house every hour or so, hoping for a glimpse of him?
I think I half expected him to pull another midnight caper, sneaking into my bed, totally disregarding my words. But instead he’s been ignoring me for the past two days, and what’s more, he hasn’t been around.
My imagination ran wild. Where could he be? Whose bed was he in? And how could he just go from mine to someone else’s so easily? Yes I was the one to say we shouldn’t see each other, shouldn’t sleep together anymore, but how could he just accept that, like he didn’t care?
Then I had to get out of the house because I was making myself nuts, only to return to find him standing in his doorway half naked, saying goodbye to some girl who looked half his age. To say I was hurt was putting it mildly.
I didn’t realize until that moment just how hurt I would be once he moved on. In my head I’d convinced myself that we hadn’t gone too far, that the damage hadn’t been done and it would be easy for both of us to move on.
My fear of what would happen if we carried on much longer was real and the circumstances dire. The fact that we lived right next door to each other was the kicker. How would we live seeing the other move on?
So in my wisdom I thought it best to end things now before they went too far. Who knew it was already too late. That my soft heart had already melted for him. That what I thought was just my body’s response to him was so much more.
I was so upset after seeing his visitor that I didn’t know what to do with myself. If I were braver, I would’ve gone to his door and rang the bell, but I’m still not that bold. At least not when it comes to him anyway.
But I couldn’t just sit still in my house and do nothing, so I used the excuse of moving the garbage cans just so I could get one last look, to see if she was still there.
It was only after I did it that I remembered the day after tomorrow is garbage day. I can’t describe the excitement I felt when I heard him calling out to me. My knees almost gave out. Surely he wouldn’t be on the sidewalk calling after me if she was still there, plus I didn’t see her car.
I wanted to ignore him, to just walk away, but I couldn’t. I’d missed him so much and my poor heart had gone through so much in the last few minutes that I had no choice but to stay. Every little crumb would do it seemed.
Now he’d dragged me into his house after reassuring me that he hadn’t taken her to his bed and I could jump for joy. But I’ll save that for later. I can’t let him see how excited I am. Knowing him he’d get the wrong idea.
No doubt he’d think I was playing games and wouldn’t understand my true fear. I don’t fully understand it myself. I just know that there’s no way he can seriously be interested…
“That’s your damn problem right there, you think too damn much. What the hell is putting that look on your face now? And don’t lie to me, it’ll only piss me off.” Whoa, why the hell is he so angry?
It was my first time in his place and I looked around the living room. Everything was neat and tidy and I wondered who kept it that way. Damn, my mind won’t give me a break.
Is this what it’s like to be in a relationship? This constant up and down, this lack of trust in the other person and insecurity in oneself? Or was it because I didn’t think that someone like him could really like someone like me in that way for any length of time?