Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 135536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135536 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I dove in front of him, bracing an arm on either side of the doorframe. “Guess the only way out is through.”
“Very well.” He cracked his neck. “Through it is, Mrs. Costa.”
Romeo advanced toward me, shoulder-tackled me, and tossed me over his shoulder, strolling through the hallway as if he wasn’t carrying an entire person.
I slapped his back, growling. “Let me down, you stuffy…coldhearted…asinine…”
“I’m not asinine.” He shifted me onto his other shoulder, and I suspected it had less to do with my weight and more to do with the discomfort it gave me. “The other adjectives fit, though.”
My head bobbed, colliding with his back with each stride. He carried me with light breaths and even lighter steps.
On the bright side, I obviously had more room to eat, since it seemed I weighed next to nothing.
Romeo descended the stairs. I spotted my suitcase alone in the foyer and noticed he’d never wheeled his back into the house.
He wasn’t lying.
He’d never planned on staying.
Romeo rounded the curved stairway and disposed of me in the kitchen, in front of a confused Hettie. “Effective immediately, Mrs. Costa is among your responsibilities, Ms. Holmberg. You are to oversee her behavior, including potential indiscretions and mishaps. You will ensure she stays out of trouble, as the latter seems to have her on speed dial.”
Hettie frowned. “What’s in it for me?”
“A 150K pay raise and the pleasure of maintaining your job.”
“Okie dokie.” She whistled, saluting him with two fingers to her forehead. “You got yourself a deal, boss.”
I groaned. “Traitor.”
“Blue-collar,” she corrected.
A few seconds later, Romeo left the house—and my life—as if Paris had never happened.
I turned to Hettie, fuming. “Wow. All it took was 150K for you to turn on me.”
Hettie appeared unaffected by my rage. “One-fifty large is a shit ton of money for the average folk, Dal.”
I knew she was right. But now that Romeo wasn’t here, I had to take my anger out on someone.
“Plus.” Hettie shrugged. “I never claimed to be a good governess. My job is to cook his oatmeal. If I suck at my side gig, no one can blame me.” She winked.
I grinned. “Thanks.”
“Sure. Just don’t take advantage of it and throw massive orgies and burn the place down, all right?”
“I’ll try my best,” I said, inwardly adding that I would do anything and everything short of the list she gave me.
I dragged myself up the stairs and back to my room, where I spent the rest of my day reading and moping. My mind had wandered a thousand miles from the faraway kingdom my book took place in.
Before I hopped into bed, I noticed one petal had fallen off the rose. Just the one.
See, Vernon? The rose is wilting and my hatred toward my husband isn’t.
Shaking my head, I crawled into bed.
I’d get back at Romeo Costa.
Even if it was the last thing I did.
Ollie vB
@RomeoCosta, your mom just walked out of Bougie Baby with your wife in tow and approximately five hundred bags.
Anything you want to tell us?
Romeo Costa
Yes: mind your own business.
Zach Sun
What were you doing in that shop, @OllievB?
Anything YOU want to tell US?
Ollie vB
I’ll have you know Bougie Baby is right next to my shooting range.
Romeo Costa
Speaking of shooting range…
Zach Sun
Don’t even go there.
That’s double homicide.
Fifty years in the slammer.
Just giving you the facts.
Romeo Costa
She is not pregnant. The only thing she is full of starts with an S and ends with a T.
Ollie vB
Sexiest Alive is actually just the title People Magazine has given me.
My real name is Oliver.
Romeo Costa
And your real chronological age is five.
Zach Sun
Strengthening ties with her MIL.
Smart move.
Romeo Costa
Unfortunately, she is not as dim as I pegged her to be.
Ollie vB
Admit it, Costa.
You miscalculated.
You wanted dumb and dumber and got the best and the brightest.
Alexa, play American Idiot.
Zach Sun
Ollie is right.
You thought she’d be your plaything. In reality, you have more control over the weather.
Romeo Costa
Her entire personality is being a toddler.
She will tire herself out, eventually.
Zach Sun
Will she?
At this point, we’re all living in a simulation, and Detroit Townsend has admin access.
You cannot convince me otherwise.
Romeo Costa
Detroit COSTA.
The way Dallas’s brain worked was an absolute crime against humanity.
Upon returning to Potomac, the first thing I did was text Hettie, ordering her to hide the baster somewhere my horny wife couldn’t find.
While I refused to come inside her, I didn’t put it past Shortbread to drive to the nearest sperm bank and order two Ventis to-go.
Turned out, abstinence was best, because I managed to go four days without liaising with my Wife of Chaos.
What I did do, however, was watch her on forty-nine security cameras spread across my estate.
Shortbread was bored.
And a bored Shortbread, I learned, was a destructive one.
I applauded her talent for doing absolutely nothing, yet achieving so much.
The woman spent her days eating, binge-reading books (sometimes finishing an entire series in the span of twenty-four hours), and spending unholy amounts of money.