Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I felt sick to my stomach, and for a moment there, I thought I was going to throw up. My eyes became blurry, and my knees were too weak to walk. But I felt like running. The pain in my heart felt almost like the day I first heard about her betrayal, that searing pain that I never want to experience again in my life. “Oh, my sweet Elena, what have I done?” What the fuck have I done?
“What’re you going to do?”
“I have to go to her. I have to explain.” Mom nodded her head in agreement as I started heading for the door, but I stopped short when I got there.
“What? Why did you stop?”
“I can’t go to her like this, not right now. She deserves better.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve always given her the worst of me. I was too young and dumb back then to realize, but after all this, I know what I want, what I’ve always wanted, but this time I should be the one to do the heavy lifting. I won’t go to her unless I’m one hundred percent what she wants, what she’s always wanted.”
“And what’s that? I don’t understand. I thought she always loved you.”
“Yes, she loves the good parts of me, but you have to admit that for a time there, my bad outweighed the good. And even though she stood by me through it all, I can’t ask her to go through that again.” Because I don’t deserve it.
It’s a horrible thought, but I almost wished that I hadn’t gotten clean. That I never asked mom to look into anything and that I never heard these words today. The gut-wrenching guilt was almost too much to bear, but I knew that I had to. I have to endure this mental hell because it’s what I deserve and worst.
I walked back to her and kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry, Mom. It’ll all work out, I promise. Just do me this one favor, keep an eye on her. If anything happens, let me know right away. Don’t let them hurt her again. Please.”
“Where are you going?”
I wasn’t sure about that myself, but I knew I needed to be alone. “I need some time alone to think and to look over this stuff.” I held up the papers and printouts in my hand. “Tell Reggie I want to meet him; he’s working for me now.”
“Sure, fine, but where will you go? You’ve been gone for months already.” She was right. I couldn’t just stay in a hotel because I’d already been pushing it being gone this long, and there was no way I could push it much further without being found out. Then the idea came to me. It was the perfect answer.
“I’m heading to the mountains.” She would know what that meant. Not many people know about the mountain cabin hidden away in the Rockies. Elena’s been there more than once over the years, but I never took anyone else there, and I doubt anyone else knows that it exists.
It was our special place and not something I was willing to share with anyone else, thank heaven because it looked like I was going to need the solitude to think over everything I’d just learned. It’s been years since I’ve been there, and the last time was with her. That means the memories are going to kill my ass.
“I don’t have to tell you that it might be better if you didn’t tell anyone about this or about where I’ve gone.” Finally, I walked out the door with a new purpose. I held back the anger and the tears as I slammed the door to the rental car before gunning it to the airport.
I refused to look at the evidence until hours later, when I was back in the States. I picked up some essentials, not risking calling the groundskeeper to find out if the place was stocked because I didn’t want anyone to know I was there. I didn’t want anyone around to see my rage. Plus, I needed the solitude and time to plan.
Chapter 25
*Elena*
Well, what do you know, life does go on. A little change of scenery and a new and exciting project that takes up most, if not all, of your time, and well, you stop caring too much about what’s being said. You’d think after weeks had gone by that the Ryder thing would’ve died down, but nope.
It only seems to have opened up the proverbial can of worms all over again. To make matters worse, no one has seen their hide or hair since then, which has prompted everyone and their mother to stalk me around town as if expecting him to pop up any minute.
Thankfully I’ve been too busy for all this nonsense. My agent seems to think I have acquired superpowers since my last breakdown because I find myself having to turn down offers left and right when there was hardly ever anything to choose from before. Granted, I was doing a pretty good rendition of a corpse back then, but still.