Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I’d come out on top after pulling myself out of the muck and mire, and I would never allow myself to be hurt like that again. I’d trained myself to hate him, to lose every ounce of feeling I ever had for him. And in a flash, in just a few seconds, he’d dismantled my whole program.
“I want to go back; I won’t stay here a minute longer.”
“Are you sure?” Sydney rubbed my back just as Rachel knocked on the door. Sydney gave me a look that asked if I was okay, and I nodded my head and dried my eyes before plastering another smile on my face.
“Are you okay? What happened?” Rachel looked back and forth between the two of us.
“Yes, I’m fine. We have to cut the trip short, is all. The project is starting a bit earlier than expected. You can stay here longer if you’d like, I don’t want to spoil your holiday as well, and there’s no reason for you to leave. I’ll take a flight back, and you can stay here on the yacht for the next week as planned.”
“Are you sure about this? Don’t you need me to take care of things for you?” I waved my hand dismissively, wishing she’d just go because I was finding it harder by the second to hold myself together. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“She’ll be fine, don’t worry; I’ll be going back with her.”
I guess the look of relief on Rachel’s face was twofold. One, she got to finish out her vacation, and two, she wouldn’t have to deal with Sydney, who has made no effort to hide her dislike for the other woman. Then again, since everything that had happened to me, she seemed to dislike almost everyone around me except for my mom and aunt, and uncle.
I didn’t have time to think about my friend’s mercurial moods right now, though; I had a flight to organize and bags to pack. Rachel finally left, and Sydney helped me pack when I refused to call the staff to do it. I knew I was running away and hated that about myself, but I just didn’t want to deal with this right now.
I didn’t want a regression back to that dark place again, and I knew if I stayed here, that’s exactly what would happen. But his eyes, that sadness. Damn you, Ryder, we cannot be friends; you go away and stay away. Asshole!
Chapter 23
*Ryder*
She’s going to pull a runner. I guess I should’ve expected something like this. Though the girl I knew wasn’t one for running from anything, her behavior over the last five years had been quite different from the norm. I felt guilty that I was the cause of her giving up her vacation; in fact, I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about her leaving after seeing me. But I also don’t know what I’d expected.
Yeah, I do; I expected her to run into my arms like some cheesy romcom movie, something I instinctively knew was not going to happen because, along with her sweetness, she had a stubborn streak a mile long that would not allow her to just give in to me at first sight.
I’d built up the moment of our first meeting in my head for so long that I think I’d overlooked a few things, like the fact that real life hardly ever, if ever, follows the plans and ideas in my head. Still, the decision to follow her here was a compulsion I couldn’t resist.
I still have to work on my impulsiveness where she’s concerned. But this whole situation was unexpected for me as well, all of it. Had I not been drugged out of my mind, none of what happened in the last five years would’ve occurred.
I’m still not too clear on all that had gone down there other than her betrayal, which is the one thing that has never left me, maybe because Janie and her friends always used every opportunity to remind me.
But the last few weeks out under her influence had got me thinking about how I’d handled that whole situation, and I was coming up with more questions than answers. From what I’d gathered from going through social media posts and tabloid writeups, I hadn’t been acting like myself for as long as I’d been married.
This is the real me. The Ryder who’d fallen in love with her when we were little more than kids would most definitely follow her halfway across the world. I don’t know who that other asshole is that went off and got married to someone else.
I’ve been thinking about that and wondering why the love of my life hadn’t found it strange that I’d done such a dumb fuck thing. Why hadn’t she fought for me for us? But that felt too much like accusing the victim, which I’m not about to do. I’d done enough to her already, apparently, even beyond the whole getting married thing.