Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Tears wet the paper in splotches, but I didn’t stop. I wrote it all down as soon as I remembered, trying my best to get the dates right and sticking to the truth, not trying to spare myself the anger I knew was coming. She has every right to be angry, and maybe after doing this, she’d give me another chance to make it right.
There were some things that I didn’t want to write down there, things that I knew would hurt her even more than my betrayal, and I argued with myself internally, but in the end, I had no choice but to add them. I did stick it onto the very end, though, in the hopes that she’d be too mad halfway through the damn thing to even notice it.
When I was done, I passed her the book and walked over to the coffee pot to pour us both another cup. I wasn’t as surprised that I remembered how she liked hers as I had been that she’d remembered my preference. She’ll never know how much something as simple as that meant to me that she hadn’t forgotten.
She’d pretty much erased me from everywhere else in the house, though. The little caricature painting of us that used to hang above the fireplace was gone, as well as the stuffed lamb she used to keep on the rocking chair in the corner of the living room. I’d noticed it gone when we walked through earlier and was surprised at how bereft it made me feel.
I got more nervous the longer she read in silence and took my coffee to the door to look out into the night. My shoulders tensed when I heard her sharp inhale of breath, and I braced myself for the anger that was sure to come. Elena was never the sharing kind, not when it comes to romantic relationships anyway, and she hates any form of betrayal; and what I’d just written was a manifesto of the worst betrayals in life.
*Janie*
“Where is Ryder? Hey, don’t you hear me talking to you? I said where is he? How dare you ignore me? You’re just a servant… Hey.” I found myself talking to a closed door. A door one of those insufferable men Mr. Saunders had sent here with Ryder just slammed in my face.
I would kick it open again, but I was afraid of what would happen if I did. Nothing was going to plan, nothing. After my talk with Ryder, things only seemed to worsen, no matter what I tried. I stupidly went ahead with Mary’s idea about the baby, and somehow Ryder had found out even though I thought he was too busy practicing his lines to notice.
I had one good day of enjoying all of the congratulations and well wishes from the fans and family alike until it all came crashing down. Ryder was pissed beyond belief. He even threatened to expose my lies which made me wonder why he’d even care; that’s when I realized that there could be only one reason why he’d get so bent out of shape and called him out on it.
“It’s because of her, isn’t it? You don’t want her to know that we’re having a baby. Why, Ryder? Why?” I remember screaming at him with tears running down my chin, and all he did was turn and walk away. That’s when I think I knew when the veil was lifted, and I realized that he was never coming back to me.
But there was still the new house, and I was still his wife. I rushed to call Mom after that, and she set up a meeting with someone for me to visit, someone I’d dealt with in the past when I needed help, and Mom was too far away for a reading.
I could still hear her words ringing in my ears when I asked the question that always burned in my heart. I’d been so nervous about the answers I’d be given that day; it’s almost as if I knew, somehow, that that would be the day it all came tumbling down.
I felt exhausted, like I’d ran as far as I could in this race to win Ryder’s heart, and her words were like a death knell to all of my dreams.
“I still don’t understand; I did everything I was supposed to do to win his heart, to keep him close to me always. Why doesn’t he love me?”
“The love in his heart for the other is too strong. That love is destroying your spell.”
I think I knew it all along, somewhere deep down inside. Even when he was high, Ryder never looked at me with anything but contempt.
But there was the Saunders deal and the new house to look forward to. He wouldn’t lose this chance to work with the best studio in town, a studio most A-listers could only dream of working with, so I knew he would have to stay by my side, at least for now. But I could no longer stand the thought of him wanting her, of him even thinking about her. That’s where Dad came in.