Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 40274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 201(@200wpm)___ 161(@250wpm)___ 134(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 40274 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 201(@200wpm)___ 161(@250wpm)___ 134(@300wpm)
“You want me to leave?”
“No!” He exclaims the word. “I want to wring the neck of the man who put so much fear in your mind and made it impossible for you to trust me with the truth. You lie and you hide, and you keep yourself from me. Even in this place of pure redemption, you remain a sinner in a sinner’s mind. You carry guilt and fear with you at all times, and it is that guilt and fear that prevents you from feeling how loved and adored you are. It stops you from…” He pauses. “I need to go.”
9 SPANK THE PLANET
Cir
“They feel guilty!”
I make the declaration as I step into the captain’s quarters, where I find Arlo making wing shapes with his arms and flapping those fake wings in a demonstrative manner. He’s clearly trying to make a point of some kind, a point I miss.
“Apologies for interrupting the display, but I think I understand why the humans behave the way they do, why they are so unable to accept salvation. They don’t think they deserve it. They feel guilty. One way or another, they will sabotage everything out of the quietly held belief that they do not deserve paradise.”
Talos and Arlo just look at me, prompting me to continue explaining what they don’t seem to understand.
“It makes sense. Many of their creation myths center around guilt and sin, and their progressive destruction of all that is good and worthy could be understood in terms of them acting that guilt out on the world around them. They can’t have nice things because they don’t think they deserve them.
“That is a fascinating insight,” Captain Talos muses. “If it were accurate, what would we do?”
“Absolve them of the guilt by punishing them, and then by forgiving them. They may need suffering.”
“Spank the planet?”
“Yes. Very possibly. Yes. This is a species in deep need of punishment and forgiveness, in turn. Most importantly, they must forgive themselves.”
“But look how angry they got when we reversed the polarity on the mood ray. They were furious about it.”
“Because we didn’t properly punish them. A proper punishment must end in forgiveness, that’s the most important part. Everything else up to that point is just cruelty if the initial sin is not forgiven. We did not punish them and offer comfort. We offered pain and nothing else.”
Jessica
I didn’t expect it to go well when I finally confessed to Cir. I assumed he’d get a serious expression on his face and very firmly but sadly tell me I was fired. Instead, he left me. Just walked away. I feel a crushing weight in my chest that makes me absolutely certain that my worst fears have been realized. I knew when he knew, he’d reject me. Nobody wants a used-up divorcee with a violent junkie ex. That’s literally never been put on a dating profile ever.
I am tearfully packing a suitcase, because I plan to steal everything in my room that’s not nailed down. He won’t mind if I take some of these clothes. I don’t know what I’m going to do with a shining robe down on Earth, but maybe I can sell it. I’ve also stuffed a lamp into my bag. Someone will want that as a trophy or whatever.
The door flies open and Cir appears. He looks very serious in a way that doesn’t feel like it bodes well for me.
“I’m not stealing the lamp!” I blurt.
He charges toward me, grabs me by the back of the blouse, and scoops me up.
“What are you doing? Are you going to throw me out of the Halo physically? You don’t have to do that!”
“No, human,” he says, hauling me over his shoulder and spanking me with his spare hand. “I am going to marry you.”
“What? Right now?” I try to sound shocked at that possibility, but I am feeling a huge rush of relief. I want to be married. I want to feel his love forever. It means so much more now that he knows the truth about my past and the deception of my present. Carried over his shoulder, I feel lighter than ever.
“Cir, what are you doing?”
“I’m making us official,” he says. “I’m taking you to the captain, and I’m not only forgiving you for your lies, I’m making an example of you.”
Last time I saw the captain, I called him an evil fucking bastard and threw a stapler at his head. I can tell from the look in his green eye that he has not forgotten that.
“This is my human,” Cir says. “I wish to unite with her in the bonds of marriage, binding our fates together legally in the eyes of the law.”
Captain Talos looks at him as though Cir has lost his fucking mind.
“You want to marry a human, and not just any human, but this one in particular, who tried to assault me with office stationery?”