Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 155798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 779(@200wpm)___ 623(@250wpm)___ 519(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 155798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 779(@200wpm)___ 623(@250wpm)___ 519(@300wpm)
He was right. I nodded, drawing in some air. “Do you understand about the name? It’s not his anymore, and because you use it mostly during sex, there’s absolutely no association with him. You burned it all up and now I love when you call me that. I love hearing it from you. It’s only your name for me. No one else’s. Just you and just me and it makes me want you every time I hear it now. You did that. Do you understand?”
He had, but like everything and anything that was connected to my past or my brother or now my father, there was a time period afterwards where I couldn’t quite breathe freely, wondering how much could Brett take, how many more truths before he decided he didn’t want me anymore?
It hadn’t happened.
Today, I needed to tell the rest.
The back door opened and Lo ran out first, going right to my door.
She hauled me out, hugging me tight and declaring, “I decided. You’re never going to California. Never again. Brett can go and you guys can have a Zoom relationship. Zexting. You can make it a thing. I’m not letting you go. Also, Roger really wants to go to that place you and Brett go to all the time now. What’s it called?”
“Rinascita.” I hugged her back.
I hope you feel the same in an hour.
I had two things to tell them.
I started with the bad one first.
Everyone was sitting down in the living room. We’d gotten through the hugs, and all the beverages and snacks had been passed around. Everyone was comfortable. They were ready.
I sat in a chair in the corner. Brett was behind me, half sitting on the chair so I felt more than just his hand. I needed as much of him as possible, but I started.
“I—uh—I always thought my mom gave me up back then.”
Someone gasped. I was guessing Lo because Vicky wasn’t a gasper.
I hoped it was Lo and not Vicky. I didn’t want to start this out with her already feeling betrayed by me.
I was looking down. I could do that, for this first part, but when I needed to tell them the end, I’d look. I’d look them all in the eyes. I was strong enough to do that.
“I just never knew because she left me at the police station and then she died. I didn’t know if it was an accident where she was trying to run away, her and Ben going on the road when she knew I’d be safe from my dad.”
A second gasp.
My heart hurt because that was Vicky. The first gasp had been her too.
I kept going. “I never told you guys about him, and I know you only know what was in my file, which was that I told the police I didn’t know who he was. That was a lie. I’ve known who my father is all my life. I’ve known him until I turned twelve. That was one of the last times I saw him in person.”
“What?” Lo asked. “You saw him another time? When?”
I glanced up, fleeting, before I looked back down and continued. I told them a brief summary of what I’d said to Brett three years ago. That he hurt my mom. That he took my brother away with him one time. That my mom was doing the best she could.
This next part hurt to say because why had it been me? “I do think he loved me, loves me still. He could’ve come forward, said he was my father. My name’s been in the press so much, but he never has. My mom told me one time that he promised to stay away from me. She said it was the one thing he promised her. So far that’s been true.”
“Maybe he’s not alive?” Roger said.
I didn’t reply because I knew that wasn’t true.
Here was the hard part. I closed my eyes and took a moment.
Brett’s hand curled over my shoulder, giving me a squeeze before he reached down and took my hand in his. When he felt me trembling, he cursed under his breath and stood abruptly, but only to grab me, lift me, and he sat down underneath me, then pulled me onto his lap. His arms circled me, that hand finding mine again and lacing our fingers.
I settled back against him, a little of my tension easing. Just a little.
“Billie.” Vicky’s voice was so hoarse.
I looked up, seeing her leaning forward, her gaze shining with such strong emotion. “Whatever you have to tell us, we aren’t going anywhere. I mean it. Anything. You are my daughter. I don’t care that you don’t have my blood. I love you and nothing would tear you away from me. You got me?” Her eyes flashed with intensity. “Now you say what you need to say because I need my second daughter to be able to breathe without it hurting. When you told your brother that I was your mother and Howard was your father, that was one of the best days of my life.”