Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 155798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 779(@200wpm)___ 623(@250wpm)___ 519(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 155798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 779(@200wpm)___ 623(@250wpm)___ 519(@300wpm)
I made myself look at her, long and hard, because this was what I might eventually only see on her face. It could take months, or years, or decades, but eventually, I’d stop playing football. Would I return to my roots then? Would I become the Brett that I used to be, and even though I would fight it, it might happen when I wouldn’t even realize it.
I’d just one day be me again.
I should end it now with her, give her a chance to find someone else. Someone who would always be good, who’d never make her feel disappointed.
No. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. She was mine. I couldn’t let her go. She made me hope for good things. She made me start believing that I deserved something good in my life, because I got her and that said something.
“Let’s go.” I shoved open my door, climbing out.
Billie was slow to get out, but I waited by her door until she did. Taking her bag from her, the trek inside was slow as well, her head was folded down, her hands stuffed into the front of her Kings sweatshirt. The sight of her would be burned permanently in my mind because I did that to her, I made her feel like that. I just kept doing it, over and over again, and I didn’t know how to come out of this hole I’d dug.
She was falling into it with me.
I hated that.
I said once we were in the room, “I’m going to get my bag and food. Did you want anything specifically?”
She’d started to open the patio door. “You’re leaving?”
“Just to get food. Fill up with gas again. Anything you want? They have everything around here. You could look up Manny’s. It’s a favorite local spot. I could pick up food and bring it back.”
Her lips parted, the ends curving down. “You don’t want to go there tonight? We have time.”
“How about you order some lunch in? We’re still in the late lunch hour. I’ll be back by then, unless I run into someone I know.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you going to see your sister now and you’re lying to me?”
A frustrated sound ripped from my throat. “Why are you pushing this so much? It’s my family. It should be my decision when you meet them.”
Surprise lit up over her face before she closed it all down, and she raised her chin up, though her bottom lip was trembling. She didn’t know that happened when she was particularly distressed, or when she was particularly aroused. Both emotions made her bottom lip shake. “You’re keeping me out. It’s not about meeting your family. It’s about whatever that’s going to happen to you when you see them, that’s why I’m here. It’s my job, to be at your side so I can help you get through this. And don’t lie to me again. I know coming here is a big deal to you. I know there’s things or people or memories that haunt you. And I know that’s what you’re trying to keep me away from, but Brett, you’re stopping me from doing my job.”
“That’s not your job, to handle that stuff.”
“It is too!” she cried out. Her hands went into her hair, balling it in fists, before she forced her hands to let go. “You can’t do this. You can’t be all up in my business, knowing the worst that’s happened to me, and shut me out when it comes to showing your skeletons. That’s not fair to me or you. You want this relationship to work? You’re either all in or you’re all out.” She delivered that as a silent bomb, letting it drop between us. “You had six hours to think about it. It’s your decision. Let me in or I’m out.”
58
BILLIE
I regretted my words as soon as the door closed behind Brett. What was I doing, issuing ultimatums? I was wrong. So wrong. He could let me in at his pace. I shouldn’t be kicking down doors and throwing threats around. It was wrong of me.
I was an ass.
Though, I was thankful that I forced him to bring me along. No matter what, I would’ve felt hurt if he’d sent me home and kept this whole trip away from me. There were things, people, memories that haunted him. Those wounds were still there and deep and still fresh or he would’ve shared about them. It would’ve been easier for him.
I threw myself back on the bed. What had I done?
My phone beeped.
I lunged for it, hoping it was Brett, hoping we could fix this thing that I’d created.
Lo: Are you guys back?
Me: No. We’re still in California.
Lo: What? I thought you’d be back by now. I went by Brett’s house.
Lo had been put on the guest list at both of the gates. She also knew the code to get past his own gate, and I’d given her one of Brett’s extra garage remotes so she could get into the house if she needed. With everything happening before the Copier Killer was caught, it seemed prudent that one or two members of my family could access Brett’s home, just in case of anything. We’d planned for worst case scenario.