Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“It’s been nice, being in Havenwood. I’m getting a lot of work done on the house, and I’ve…gotten to play a lot of music, but without the pressure behind it. Just trying to connect with it. I don’t know if that makes sense.” I’d only written one song, but I didn’t tell them that.
Law’s eyes widened as if he was surprised I’d mentioned it. I wanted to surprise him, wanted to put myself out there, but I also…Christ, I wanted to try and let these guys in. I wanted what they had.
“Oh my God! Do I get to bring up music now!” Kellan blurted out.
“Jesus Christ.” Griff shook his head.
“Do I have to carry you out of here again?” Josh asked.
Chase looked at him. “I have it from here.” Then to Kellan, “Do I have to carry you out of here?”
Then…then I laughed. Everyone else joined in, and Kellan’s face reddened. I didn’t need the pill in my pocket, and my chest wasn’t tight. When my unexpected bout of laughter settled down, I said, “As long as I get to veto certain questions.” I could feel Law’s eyes on me, but I didn’t let myself look at him.
“Yeah, sure. So. ‘Hotel Nights.’ God, I love that song. There’s so much pain in it, but like, love and passion too. When you talk about missing their touch and how sometimes you go to the same hotel room to feel them there. Ugh. So good! I don’t get how you do it. But then, I’m an artist. Did I tell you I’m an artist? I teach kids, but yeah, that passion I feel when I’m creating is what I get from that song. It’s like you’re bleeding with every word.”
“I was,” I admitted. “You don’t start off easy, do you?” I tried to tease. Because of course he would ask about “Hotel Nights.” It had been about us, but then Law was in everything I wrote.
“Remy?” Law asked, and it was clear as day he hadn’t heard the song, or at least had never listened to the words.
“Oh shit,” Kellan said. “Holy fuck. You wrote that for Lawson?”
“Kell!” Chase groaned. “Excuse us.” Out of my periphery, I could see him try and tug Kellan away, but he didn’t budge.
I took my hat off and shrugged.
“Wow…how come you never wrote me a song?” Kellan asked Chase.
“Because I’m not a songwriter?”
“Kellan…” Griffin said, warning in his voice.
“How come you don’t write Chase a song?” Josh countered.
“I got a tattoo for him!”
“What?” Griffin nearly shouted.
“That tattoo that’s been on my hip since I was eighteen. Simmer down, big brother,” Kellan tossed back.
Then we were all laughing again, everyone except Law, who couldn’t stop looking at me.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lawson
I’d wanted to kick everyone out the second Kellan mentioned the words to that song. Over the years, I’d done my best not to listen to Remy’s music. If a song came on the radio, I turned it off. If he was on TV, I changed the channel. If there was a magazine cover, I ignored it. If an article popped up online, I didn’t click the link…most of the time. There had been exceptions, of course, like when I saw something about him with Brittany. But I never truly listened to his songs. I never paid attention to words, because I knew it would be too painful.
I was starting to regret that decision.
The subject changed after Kellan’s music questions. I thought Remy would feel bad, but he’d been excited. It was nice to see him let loose, to see him sitting there without that fucking hat on, to watch him talk with Griffin. It was a good match, he and Griff as friends.
After we ate, everyone hung out for a bit. Remy seemed to feel more and more comfortable, though there were times he would get quiet, go into the house or give himself some space. Still, he always joined the group again, even if he didn’t talk quite as much as the rest of us. What mattered was that he was there and having a good time.
Around eight everyone decided it was time to go. Griff and Remy swapped phone numbers, and we walked them to the front door.
The second they were gone, I was on him, pushing him against the door, my mouth crushing his. Remy melted under my touch like he always did, his body soft and pliant as though I could do anything to him. My hands squeezed his hips, I shoved my knee between his legs, and yeah…there was one part of his body that wasn’t soft.
I sucked his lip the way he liked and gave him my tongue. Remy let me have my way with his mouth, little sounds pulling from the back of his throat, before I forced myself to stop the kiss, my forehead against his. “You wrote a song about me.”