Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
When I felt Law’s warm hand on my neck, I looked over at him and nodded, telling him I was okay. His smile lit up my insides. There was nothing like being the one he aimed it at. That simply, by letting him touch me in front of them, I’d made him happy.
We finished up in the kitchen before we all made our way outside. He had a lot of space back there, with a large, built-in grill, a long table with chairs, and a porch swing.
Everyone had a beer, except me and Chase. They were all talking and laughing, and I found myself on the outskirts of it, but not in an uncomfortable way. I wanted to observe and, well, I didn’t have anything to say either, but I didn’t doubt they would welcome me right in if I had.
Law was at the center of it like he so often was, making jokes and gaining laughter, every couple of minutes looking at me or coming over to me. Sometimes I could tell he was getting involved, being himself, but then he would feel guilty, like he had to babysit me.
“Hey, you sure you don’t want a drink or something?” he asked.
I sat at the table. “I’m fine. I like watching you with them,” I said softly. “They’re good friends, I can tell. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m good. I promise.”
He reached toward my face, but then dropped his hand again. “I need to check the charcoal.”
As Law walked away, Griffin came over and sat across from me. “They’re a bunch of crazy-asses.”
I smiled, looking down and picking at my phone. “They’re great. You’re all great, I mean. It’s nice to get to meet Law’s friends.” I was being awkward. I thought I was being awkward, at least. It was hard to tell sometimes.
“You guys met in college?”
“He was in college. I didn’t go. We, um…met at this coffeehouse I used to play at.” Where I had a panic attack and he settled me down.
“I went for a bit. Dropped out. My parents passed away, and I came home to take care of Kell.”
My head shot up. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I miss them, but I don’t have any regrets, ya know? I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere other than with my brother. He was young. It all worked out.”
I tried to work my way through the fog in my head and find something to ask him. “So you, um…own the bar, right? I think that’s what Law said.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s not much, but I don’t need much. It’s mine.”
“I hear ya.” I nodded, before I realized how that sounded. “About the not needing much. Sometimes all the other shit…muddies things. Then you feel like a self-centered asshole because you have everything you’ve ever wanted, things other people aren’t blessed enough to have, and it’s…fuck, it’s a vicious cycle.” It wasn’t until the words left my mouth and my chest tightened that I noticed I’d really said them. Holy fuck…I’d never spoken to someone like that. But Griffin was looking at me as if he understood. He had a calming air about him, like maybe sometimes he felt a little sad and alone too. Like he didn’t quite relate to people the way everyone else did. Or maybe he felt like he didn’t. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go off there.”
He grinned, and it was a real one, like it came from somewhere inside him and he enjoyed talking to me. Not Remington the musician—Remy the man. “Nah, no reason to be sorry. I get what you’re saying. If you’re going to be around for a while, you should stop by the bar and have a beer sometime. Or, I don’t know if you like hiking or fishing, but there are some great places to go.”
This unfamiliar hope bloomed in my chest. “Yeah…yeah, I’d like that,” I told him, and I meant it.
Griffin and I continued talking, and Law didn’t come back over. Every now and again I’d look over to see him laughing, talking with his hands, or ribbing his friends as he cooked. He’d glance at me and smile before I returned my attention to Griffin.
I liked Griffin. He was kind, and quiet, but not in the same way as me. I had no doubt that if I weren’t there, he would have been chatting it up with the rest of them, but he’d seen a kindred spirit in me, and there was a caretaker nature about him that made him seek it out.
His brother definitely listened to my music. I’d catch him gaping at me sometimes, and figured he didn’t ask me about it because Law had told him not to.
We ate a little while later, all of us at the table, Law still beside me and Griffin across from me. They all pulled me into the conversation but steered clear of asking me about music. If there was a story they laughed about, they made sure to fill me in, and it felt good, comfortable.