Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
As I speak, I watch that mask come over his face so fast. The light in his eyes goes out in a flash, and I’m staring at a wall. “Leon!” I tug on his hand, feeling more and more like I’ve betrayed him. The guilt is horrible. “Please don’t do that. All I did was make some calls, and they have some openings this afternoon. That’s all I did. I didn’t make an appointment. I’m not going to force you to go. I just think…I think you’re living with a lot of pain that you don’t necessarily have to, and that’s the worst. I want you to be okay. I want to help you. I know you’re mad, but I wasn’t trying to go behind your back. I was just trying to… help.”
I can tell he wants to bark something at me. The mask drops for a second, and I can see the raw anger behind it, but then he blinks and scrubs his hand over his face, and it’s not there anymore. He blows out a breath. “Okay.”
I nearly topple over. “What?” I’m still holding his hand, which is rigid in mine. His palm is damp, I realize. I have no idea what it’s costing him to agree with me. He’s so good at hiding his pain and nerves that I wouldn’t be able to read any of it except for the dampness of his hand. I take my hand from his, unfurl his fingers, and bring it to my lips to kiss his palm. “Are you serious?”
“If you want me to go, I’ll go.”
“But you…just like that?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to go with you to the appointment?”
“No.”
I have this horrible sensation, this realization all of a sudden, that Leon is going to try and use this appointment and whatever he finds out as a way to drive us apart. As a tool to push me away. I don’t know if he thinks he’s too damaged to be worthy of affection or if he believes it because of his past. No, I think it’s the former. That’s why he’s alone. It’s been his choice. He doesn’t want to saddle someone else with this. The last thing he wants to be is a burden. He’s got this lovely soul, and all his life, he’s been the one making the sacrifices.
I wrap my arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Whatever happens, I’m still going to be here. You can’t shove me out of your life even if you find out something terrible. You don’t have to go through this alone. I’ve got you, Leon. Always.”
He makes a huffing noise but lets me kiss his lips as he sits there calmly enough. When I back up because I don’t want to smother him or become a helicopter wife or whatever—clingy, that’s the word—he sips his coffee and watches me.
“Is it okay if I call and see if they still have spots open for this afternoon?” I’m still not telling him that when I talked to the clinic’s receptionist and described what was going on with Leon and kind of straight-up lied about him possibly having a lot of past head trauma from sports injuries, she put me on hold, then came back on and said they’d make room in their day if Leon wanted to book. I told her that I’d have to get back to her after I thanked her.
I’m not trying to deceive him. I’m just trying to help, and this is important. Plus, I didn’t tell anyone anything about him. I made things up. Like how Kitty made things up in the past to protect Leon.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
He’s taking this too well. I guess I’m still waiting for the caveman to appear and go all dark and broody and surly about this, but maybe that’s not fair. The past few days changed a lot of things for both of us. Maybe this is Leon trying to move forward.
“Uh…okay. I’ll call them right now.” I sit down across from him and take out my phone. The last number in my call history is the one I dial.
After a few minutes of talking to the receptionist, I have a booking. Four o’clock today. I thank her and hang up. “It’s only eleven right now.” I swallow thickly, pushing down the rising lump of…of whatever is crawling up my throat. “We have time to pack up and lots of time to get there.”
“I’m sorry that I’m going to ruin your vacation.”
I snort. “No. Don’t be. This is important. We could always come back.” But deep down, I know we won’t, which is why I’m scared to leave the cabin. This was our safe place, and we were supposed to have a few more days here, days of getting to know each other while wrapped up and insulated against all the crap that isn’t lake life. But Leon’s health is more important than anything else. That migraine he had was horrible, and now he has an opportunity to see a good doctor and get help. I need to do this for him.