Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Holy smokies and mustard, I love my wife.
“Can we read the book now?” Galen asks sweetly. He’s waiting so patiently, his huge blue eyes so hopeful.
“Yes, sweetheart.” I reach for the book on the nightstand. There are four of them.
I can’t say why we did it. It started out as a joke. Darby and I used to send each other emails throughout the day since we never worked together again. She loved her job and was happy there, and six months after we started officially dating—yes, even though we were also married—she applied for law school. She moved into my house right after she was accepted. I always thought she’d make a great family lawyer. I remember thinking that in my office before I called her in that day to ask if she’d fake marry me for real. It was the day that changed the entire course of my life.
At first, Darby was so busy working and going to school that we didn’t get to see a lot of each other during the week. So she’d leave me adorable little notes. One day, there was a little comic that she’d drawn—the adventures of Lord Poo Turd Ultra-Cool Doodoo. I’m not much of an artist, but I’d draw them back. Darby saves everything, and so, of course, she saved those silly drawings we made for each other.
When we found out she was pregnant almost five years ago, she had the idea of combining all those comics into a book. The kind of book we self-published by using a photobook-making app. She redrew the comics, changed them into kid-friendly drawings, and wrote the story as well. One book wasn’t enough. She ended up making four, and over the years, our collection has grown whenever we feel inspired.
Having two kids who pooped a lot and were not always in a very clean or tidy fashion provided a lot of inspiration.
As soon as I started to read, both boys were immediately enraptured. Even Tarl, who made us think he preferred the hair on fire story. One day, we’ll tell the boys how we met and how we got married. We never did another ceremony. The one we had was enough for both of us. Also, one day, we’ll take the boys to Ireland. They video chat with their grandma regularly, and they adore Darby’s parents and their aunts and uncles and cousins. It’s only right that they learn about where they came from on my side, and even though I thought I could never go back, like a lot of other things in my life, I’ve changed my mind about that.
I catch Darby’s eye as I read. “I love you, Lord Poo,” she mouths.
I roll my eyes and grin at her. “I love you too, Lady Poo.”
The End.