Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79036 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 395(@200wpm)___ 316(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“Hey, you,” I say.
“Hey back at you. Just thought I’d check in. How are things going?”
I plop down onto Dusty’s couch, then rub a hand over my face. “Fuck, man. I don’t even know where to start. I’m, um…with someone else now. I broke up with Rob. It’s Dusty, my childhood best friend.”
“Wow… That’s a big change. He’s good to you?”
I think about all the ways Dusty is good to me—the way he makes me feel and how he loves me. How he touches me and puts me first, and if he needed to, would fight the whole fucking world for me. “Yeah, Spencer. He’s great to me. Probably better than I deserve, considering I left here ten years ago and didn’t talk to him again until now.”
The line is quiet, and it takes me a moment to realize what I said, that I gave Spencer those pieces of my past without realizing what I was doing.
“Why?” he finally asks, and I feel something shifting in my chest. Like some of those dark clouds that live there are parting and want to start disappearing for good.
This is where I would normally tell him nothing, where I’d change the subject and keep myself locked down, but I’m so fucking tired of that. Spencer deserves better, and I deserve better too.
Before I can talk myself out of it, before I let myself think about it all, I speak. Everything begins to fall from my mouth—Dusty, Rhett, what happened before I left. How I grew up, Dad, Mom, Ella. Things with my dad now, and with Rhett and East. It’s like once I start, I can’t stop, the clouds parting more, the heavy cloak I’ve worn for as long as I can remember getting lighter and lighter.
Spencer must have things to do today, but he doesn’t rush me, doesn’t push me, just listens. When I finish, he says, “Shit, man. I’m sorry you felt like you had to carry all that on your own. I would have helped bear the load. Thank you for telling me now.”
I’m not surprised by his answer. I never thought Spencer would be anything other than supportive. “It was me. Nothing you did. I had some demons to battle. Hell, I still do, but I’m working on it. Being with Dusty makes me want to be better. Seeing East struggle, Rhett too, those things make me want to be better as well.”
“You’re a better man than you realize. Cut yourself some slack. You’ve been through a lot. And I’m always here for you. Sounds like you have a good man too, but don’t carry all this on your own anymore.”
“I won’t.” I smile, knowing how lucky I am to have the people in my life that I do. “You’re going to love him. I can’t wait for the two of you to meet when we get home.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” Spencer replies.
“He’s got me doing more shit other than work.” I chuckle. “It’s been fun exploring the places we used to go as kids. It’s fucking gorgeous out here, Spence. You would love it. We’ve been hiking, visiting waterfalls, and to some of the many summertime festivals in the area. Just enjoying what the UP has to offer. The pace is so different from Santa Monica. You have more time to breathe.”
“Corbin and I love hiking. We’ll have to go visit the area sometime.”
“For sure. You can plan a trip when Dust and I come home one time. It’s been good getting to know East too. He’s got this dog…she’s a mess of a thing, and the biggest goofball you’ll ever meet.”
He listens again while I ramble about life in the UP. It’s such a change of pace for us because usually he’s the one talking and I’m the one listening.
“You sound good, Morgan. Happy. Happier than I’ve ever heard you. It makes me see how much you’ve been suffering over the years.”
He’s right. I have been suffering, and I am happy. Jesus, have I ever been truly happy before in my whole life? I don’t think I have, but I feel it now. Things aren’t perfect, of course, but they’re pretty fucking good.
“You’re right…about all of it.” And as I sit there talking to my friend, thinking about my life, I know I’ll do everything in my power to hold on to this new feeling.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Dusty
We take my Jeep to Davies on a Saturday night. Morgan and I haven’t gone out with friends since he’s been back, so when Archer called to see if I wanted to grab a drink with him and Cass, we decided to go. I need to enjoy the time out with them before we head out for California anyway.
“I wonder if East will be here tonight,” Morgan says when we pull into a parking spot.