Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 44474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 222(@200wpm)___ 178(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
“Um, he likes apple pie…I think.”
“I’ll make extra to be on the safe side.” She pushed a pencil over her ear and cast a quizzical glance my way. “Do you have something on your mind, honey?”
I frowned. “Hudson never mentioned Christmas dinner.”
She looked surprised. “Oh. I don’t think he officially RSVP’d either. Damn, is he going to Colorado after all?”
“I’ll ask.”
I meant to, I really did.
The days got away from me and the nights were a perfect blend of sex and sweetness.
It should have been easy enough to interrupt A Charlie Brown Christmas to inquire about my lover’s plans, but I was wary of interrupting the impromptu foot massage.
Okay…no, that wasn’t it. I sensed that mood again—a haunting of some sort, a cloud I hoped would blow away.
I gnawed my lower lip, wondering why Charlie Brown bothered with his terrible classmates and simultaneously wishing I could read Hudson’s mind and—
“You should go home for Christmas,” I blurted.
Hudson furrowed his brow. “Huh?”
“Shoot, darn, dagnabbit. That was supposed to be a question. Are you going home for Christmas?”
“I wasn’t planning on it. I thought I told you that.”
Oh.
“I don’t think so.”
“Hmm. It’s always good to see my family, but it’s a hassle to travel during the holidays. Mom understands. I can use the ticket in January. I think she’s stubbornly hoping I’ll surprise her and—”
“You should.”
Hudson froze. “You want me to go?”
“No, no. I’m simply aware that assuaging familial guilt goes a long way during the season of felicitations and goodwill toward men…and women.”
“Uh-huh.” He muted the sound on the television, shifting on his seat to eye me suspiciously. “What’s really going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Look at me, Moody.”
I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood. It was a futile attempt at keeping my gob shut, but it was worth a shot ’cause the moment I started blabbing, all kinds of embarrassing things were bound to pour out of me. Just wait.
“I can’t.”
“Moody…”
“Ugh! Fine.” And here we go. “I have very strong feelings for you.”
Hudson grinned. “Good.”
“As in…I think about you all the time. Morning, noon, night. I want to be with you, hear your voice, touch you…constantly. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, but you were engaged to someone. You were a month away from ‘I dos’ and there’s a possibility I’m your second-place prize.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your rebound,” I clarified. “Your boomerang affair before you return to the dating pool with aplomb!”
“You’re not my rebound, and you’re definitely no second-place prize.”
Moody huffed. “You say that now because you’re a gentleman. Next you’ll claim I’m a sexual dynamo with untapped potential.”
Hudson lifted my hand to his lips. “You are.”
I squeezed his fingers and whispered, “I’m simply afraid this is a seasonal romance. I can’t tell if it’s too much, too fast, too sudden, and…to be honest, it scares me.”
Silence.
“Oh.”
That single syllable echoed in my ears. “I ruined this, didn’t I?”
“Don’t be silly. We’re good.” He worried his bottom lip. “I don’t have all the answers, Moody. I know that I like this place and I love being with you, but I can’t tell you the future.”
“I know.” I laced our fingers, hoping my smile met my eyes. “It’s okay. There’s no rush.”
“You still don’t trust December, do you?”
I was too surprised to comment at first. “I…I suppose I don’t.”
Hudson nodded. “I understand. Do you trust me?”
“Yes, but I think you need space. More than you’ll get here with me.”
His Adam’s apple slid in his throat. “If you need me to go, I’ll go. But I’m not leaving, Moody. Not really. I’ll be back.”
“And I’ll be here.” I pushed hair from his eyes.
He crashed his mouth over mine, piercing me with a weighty look as he released me.
“Just so you know, it’s the same for me. You’re always on my mind. Always.”
Hudson made love to me that night…and it was different. He branded my lips with greedy kisses and moved inside me with a ferocity that took my breath away. It was as if he were saying words that couldn’t be spoken aloud with his body. Though I’d had no practice, I understood this language.
I detected the notes of distress and fear in both of us and gave them grace.
But in the morning, I was alone.
I was used to being alone.
I was used to hollow expectations and disappointment. I was used to loss and sorrow. I braced for a flash of pain as a cold December wind whistled through the trees, testing the tethered blow-up reindeer on my neighbor’s lawn. It didn’t come.
So strange. I couldn’t figure it out. I should have been a wreck. I should have been a mess of tears and sadness. Eventually, the tears would clear, and I’d be cranky about my situation and before you could say Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I’d be my grouchy December self again. And I’d have no one but myself to blame.