Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 86226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“It’s late. Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asks.
“I… uh… may I please use the restroom?”
He remains silent, stony, and cold.
Swallowing back the large lump in the back of my throat, I say, “I need to use the bathroom badly.”
He nods and leaves the room. Once past the threshold, he looks over his shoulder to where I still stand frozen. “Follow me.” His deep voice is firm, direct, and so silky smooth.
I will my body to follow the man, even though warning bells are going off that he is not to be trusted, no matter what. His energy is off. I’m not getting the calm Phoenix. I’m getting the cold, distant Phoenix. He’s a flame that seems to be growing, and I sense it. There could always be something up his sleeve, and I remember what he did to me the last time I entered the bathroom. But again, my bladder doesn’t give me much of a choice.
Phoenix leads me to the restroom, opens the door, and steps inside. I follow him in then turn, expecting him to exit and wait outside the door.
When he remains in place, I ask, “Can you leave?”
“No.”
The idea of relieving myself in front of this man infuriates me. “I don’t need you to watch over me.” I glance at the small room that has the toilet and think about just going inside and shutting the door, but something also tells me to not attempt doing anything without his direction.
“Please. I’ll be quick.”
“Go,” he snaps, which only makes me angry. I am a fucking human being who deserves an ounce of decency and privacy to relieve myself. Grant me fucking bathroom privileges, for Christ’s sake!
“Are you enjoying this? It’s sick,” I declare. “I’m not going to go piss in front of you.”
His expression hasn’t changed since the moment he came for me, but his eyes darken at my refusal.
“Go now.” This time his voice stabs into my soul. I am not going to win this battle, but I still am not going to go pee in front of him.
“All I ask is that you leave the room. I would like a little privacy. Take away a comfort item if you have to in exchange for allowing me this brief time alone. Please.”
“Either go now, or I’ll take you back to your room. You can sit in your own filth for all I care. I don’t care where you go.”
He is lucky I don’t have a knife in my hand. I’d kill him right here and now.
“Fine,” I say. “If you don’t care where I go,” I add as I squat right in front of him. “I’ll piss right here, thank you very much.” I empty my bladder in the middle of the room, staring directly into his eyes as I allow every ounce of liquid to release from my body. It isn’t like I have much of my dignity left to lose anyway.
Phoenix remains emotionless. He doesn’t say a single word or do a thing. His lack of anger is far worse than any wrath he could inflict. My knees wobble as I remain in my squat, and I just hope I won’t fall. He scares me. There is no doubt about that, and yet here I am. The fool pissing on the floor mere inches from my captor’s shoes.
He doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak. If I don’t know better, I would say he isn’t even breathing. My actions have no effect on him, and I instantly regret it. My childish act empowers him. I am now the woman squatting in front of a man with piss dripping out of me. Humiliation for me, honor for him. Without doing a single thing, Phoenix wins this battle. Damn him.
As I rise and try to control my anger, Phoenix raises one eyebrow and asks nonchalantly, “Are you done?”
“I am a fucking human being. Not a fucking slave. Remember that.” Clenching my teeth, I straighten my shoulders and try to muster as much pride as I can. I glide past him, leading myself back to my room. His footsteps follow behind me and can almost feel his smugness burning against the back of my head.
When I approach the door, Phoenix takes hold of my upper arm. It doesn’t hurt, but his grasp is tight. He leads me into the room and forces me to sit on the wool blanket by pushing me down. He kneels down and reaches into his pants pocket, pulling out a pair of handcuffs.
“I don’t want you to put those on me,” I say as panic begins to set in. I’m not sure what his plan is, but I can see how pissed off I made him now. Seeing the handcuffs throws me back into my twisted reality.
I am a captive. Not a guest. No rights, no options, nothing.