Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 69875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
This makes her giggle. A gentle trickle of a sound. Like water on pebbles, calming and relaxing. I want her to do it all feckin’ day. I still can’t believe she thought I’d be angry about not getting sex. It’s bafflin’ that any man would make a woman feel like that.
I look her dead in the eye and say, “I may be a biker, but I’m a feckin’ gentleman.”
“Well,” she says and pauses for a moment. “I think we should sit down and talk. Perhaps you can tell me about growing up in Belfast, and I’ll tell you about London. They’re very different cities.”
I smile as we head down to the benches and take a seat. I haven’t actually spent time here since I took over. Usually, I’m in the office workin’ or I’m in my bedroom.
“Belfast is one of those cities that settles in yer bones. It’s always had turmoil and violence attached to it. But growin’ up here, I feckin’ loved it. There’s an energy here you can’t find anywhere else in the world. But I guess you’d say that about London as well.”
She smiles and nods. “Yeah, London is an entity. I suppose most cities are. I think it’s the people who bring a city to life. It’s their excitement and love for a place that makes it what it is.”
“You’re insightful for a wee fox that’s still so young,” I remark.
“Well, I studied the human mind, and I think that’s given me a deeper insight into people and their thinking. It’s definitely something I’ve found a passion for.” When she talks about her studies, I can see the excitement that shines in her eyes, in her expression.
And I realise watching her, I want to see that look on her face all the time.
“Then you’ll have to find a practice once this is all over,” I tell her.
But as the words come out, I realise it’s not the happiest of thoughts. I know she has to go sometime. Once her folks are in prison or dead, I don’t mind either, she’s going to go on with her life. It’s the reason I’ve fought this attraction. This requirement to protect her won’t be there forever.
She has a life outside the motorcycle club. I’m pretty sure she has friends and colleagues who want to see her again. And I can’t hold her back from that. No matter how much I want her to stay. Havin’ her close is somethin’ special, but one day, like everyone in my life, she’ll leave.
And I’m going to have to say goodbye again.
“I might,” she answers me suddenly, dragging me away from my dark thoughts. “But I can’t tell the future, so who knows what’s going to happen? There are so many factors that could change the path of anyone’s life.”
“You have to go,” I tell her. “There’s no life here for you. Not for the kind of work you’re goin’ ta do. Helpin’ people is important.”
“You want me to go?” Her eyes penetrate right through me.
I don’t respond, because I’m not sure how to. If I said no, she’d think there’s more here, but also, I don’t know if I can get attached to someone who can up and leave at any time.
A moment passes, and Miren pushes to her feet. It’s dark, and I can’t see if she’s angry.
“Where are you goin’?”
“To sleep.” Her voice is tight with emotion, and I watch her leave.
I should go after her, but I don’t because I have no claim on her. Aye, we coulda fucked tonight, but it didn’t happen. Probably for the best.
A flick of a lighter catches my attention. Sully saunters over to where I am and leans against the wall. “Big mistake, brother,” he tells me. “Big fuckin’ mistake.” I don’t argue with him, because for the first time in my life, I can’t deny it.
SEVENTEEN
MIREN
The long, heavy wooden dinner table is filled with the brothers, the Bastards, and a few of the girls who work in the club. Callia is seated beside me, and I know she’s going to ask about Monster’s fascination with me. He’s been following me around since he found out the truth. Watching me when I’m at work, walking me back to my room. He hasn’t once touched me or tried to kiss me again, but his attention is focused. So much so that the guys have been whispering about him finally claiming someone.
I’m not sure how I feel about it. My focus is still on finding my mother and Patrick. He will always be a monster in my eyes, more so than the man who took me in when I needed protection. The sadness that does come over me when I think about what my mum did still eats away at me. The guilt of her actions has chosen to take its ire out on me.