Total pages in book: 168
Estimated words: 153571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 768(@200wpm)___ 614(@250wpm)___ 512(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 153571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 768(@200wpm)___ 614(@250wpm)___ 512(@300wpm)
Not one.
If I'm being honest with myself, I don't really want to lighten it, anyway. I want her as off-balanced as she makes me. I don't know any other way to get through to her and make her admit that this thing between us isn't just fucking. It isn't for me, and I'm pretty fucking certain it isn't for her, either.
I just need her to give me a chance to prove it.
Chapter Ten
Mila
Roman is quiet as he pulls into the parking lot of a colorful little Mexican restaurant at the far end of a strip mall. I take a deep breath and then another, trying to calm the way my heart pounds as he parks the truck. My mouth feels dry, his words and the intensity behind them sucking all the moisture from it. I don't think he meant to say them, and I don't know what to do now that he has.
He's been in my head since the beginning, too. Even after I started dating Damien…Roman was there. He's always been there, watching me with those hazel eyes, stripping me bare. Even when I didn't understand it, even when I thought he disliked me, he was there.
The truth is…he's the reason I was with Damien to begin with. He's Tahani's dad, and I couldn't get him out of my head. I was terrified I'd say or do the wrong thing, and she'd find out I was obsessed with him. Or that he'd find out. They're the closest thing to family I've had since my mom died. It would have destroyed me to lose them.
Damien kept asking me out and Tahani was getting suspicious about why I kept turning him down—why I always turned everyone down. So the next time he asked, I said yes. I thought it was a chance to save my friendship and guard my secret. I didn't think I stood a chance in hell with Roman at the time. I was just a stupid college kid with a hopeless crush. I had to get over him.
Except I never did. No matter how hard I tried, I still dreamed about him. I still fantasized about him.
How messed up is that? I was with Damien for six months, but my heart still wanted Roman.
Maybe I deserved what Damien and Lizette did. I never cheated, but my heart certainly wasn't pure. Am I really any better than them? It's hard to look at myself in the mirror and say I am.
"Let's eat," Roman says softly, killing the engine.
I nod and unlatch my seatbelt with trembling hands before opening my door. He hops out and jogs around the side of the truck. He puts his hands around my waist, lifting me out. His hands linger for a moment, his eyes meeting mine.
I avert my gaze, terrified I'm going to get caught in his piercing eyes again. Terrified he's going to find what he's looking for in mine because it's there. Right fucking there. And that scares the shit out of me.
This is just sex…right?
Unease slides through me, twisting in my stomach when I realize I'm not sure that's true. I'm not sure if it was ever true.
He sighs, the sound barely audible, and then gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear before stepping back.
"Come on," he says then, slamming my door and hitting the locks.
I walk beside him, my heart still thumping hard.
What is he doing to me? What does he want from me?
I'm a little afraid to answer either of those questions, so I don't. I push them from my mind, refusing to think about them or what they mean.
"How did you find this place?" I ask quietly, glancing around.
The building is painted yellow, blue, and green, but the bright colors have begun to fade. The sign out front is weathered. There are two other cars in the lot, and that's it. Without the delicious aromas coming from the restaurant, I never would have guessed the place was still open for business.
"I stumbled across it right after I bought the condo," he murmurs, leading me up the sidewalk with a hand on my lower back. "Tourists haven't found the spot yet, so it's quiet. I like that."
"Why?" I blurt as he holds the door open for me. I meet his gaze, genuinely curious.
Before he can answer, an elderly man pops up. He's barely any taller than I am.
"Hola, señor, señorita," he says, ushering us inside. The smile on his face reflects in his warm brown eyes. It softens his leathered face, too. "¿Coma esta?"
My mouth waters as I step over the threshold. The entire restaurant smells like spices and meat. My stomach growls loudly at the delicious combination, reminding me that I haven't eaten anything all day.
After Roman fucked me in the shower, I passed out. With the storm blowing outside and his body caging me in, I slept hard. When we woke up, the sun shining brightly outside as if a storm had never passed at all, he informed me that we weren't having sex again today and that he was taking me out for dinner. My stomach was in knots the minute he said it, making it impossible to eat.