Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Clay
My hands shake as I pull out the remaining envelopes, and sure enough, there it is. My second letter to Hudson. “This is yours.” I hand the envelope out to him.
He takes the box from me and reaches inside and hands me the journal. “And this is yours.”
“What?”
“Just read it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Go sit. Read. I’ll bring you dinner.”
“Are you going to read your other letter?”
“Yeah. Not right now, but I want to. I think I need to. I need to feel your pain.”
“No, you don’t. We put all misconceptions behind us, remember?”
“Yeah, baby. I remember.” He kisses the top of my head.
“You really want me to read this?”
“Yeah, Riles, I really do.”
Moving to the living room, I see that Hayes has fallen asleep. I know that I should wake him, but there is something in his journal he wants me to have, so instead, I curl up on the couch, open the journal, and begin to read.
Instantly tears form in my eyes. With each journal entry, I fall more in love with him. There are few that gut me like the one I just read.
Riley,
I’m so mad at you.
Hudson
So simple, yet those five words pack a punch. I keep reading. He tells me about the sunsets he’s watched and wishes I was there with him. He talks about waterfalls and the work that they’re doing, and it’s as if I’m there with him. He tells me that he loves me and that he’s going to fight for me. I’m fully engrossed as I turn each page.
Riley,
I know you’re with him now, but I just needed to say this…
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what you mean to me. I’m sorry that you didn’t know that the night we spent together was the greatest night of my life.
Hudson
Tears are leaking from my eyes, but I don’t bother to stop them. Instead, I wipe at my cheeks, even though it’s no use, and keep reading.
Riley,
Why have I not heard from you?
Hudson
That one hits its mark. I only tried twice to get ahold of him. I should have tried harder. I should have written him every day until I heard from him, but I didn’t know. I truly thought he didn’t want our son or me. The worst part is that if I could have looked past my own pain of missing him and my own fear, I would have known that’s not the kind of man he is. I did know, but I let everything else cloud that. It’s not until I turn the page that I realize I’m at the final entry. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. What I do know is that I devoured these pages as if they were a novel by my favorite author. I guess the love of my life is close enough.
Riley,
Three more days. That’s how long I’m here. I’m coming home. I know you’re getting close to bringing your baby boy into the world, and I want to be there for you. For both of you. I love you so much, Riles. I want us to be a family—all three of us. I want to be the man in both of your lives who you can rely on. I want to build a life with you and have more babies with you, and well, I just want it all, Riley. I want it all with you. So I’m coming home. I know it’s not going to be easy to prove this to you, but I won’t stop trying. I can’t wait to lay eyes on you. I can’t wait to hold you, and most of all. I can’t wait to love you forever. I’ll see you soon, baby.
All my love,
Hudson
A sob tears from my throat as I place the journal on the couch next to me. My shoulders are shaking, and I’m just an overall crying mess. Hudson is there instantly. He lifts me from where I’m sitting and takes my place, holding me on his lap. He doesn’t say a word. He just wraps his arms around me like a vise and lets me get it all out.
I don’t know how long we sit like this, long enough for me to calm down and sit up. I move to the floor, kneeling between his legs. “What are you doing, baby?” he asks softly.
I take his hands in mine and open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say. I have so much I need to say. So much that I want to say, but the words won’t come. That is until I blurt, “Marry me.”
His eyes widen in shock before they soften. It’s the look. The one he’s always given me. I thought it was brotherly love, but it was always more.
“I’m a fool, Hudson. I was so blinded by the fear of your rejection. I set the entire tailspin into action, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I promise that I’ll spend the rest of our days together making it up to you if you have me. I love you. I want it all. I want to build a life with you. I want to fill this house with kids, and I want to grow old with you.”