Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79640 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 398(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“Riley?” he asks.
“Yeah.” It’s always Riley. “Have you heard from anyone back home?” I ask him.
“Not for a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, me too. Anything from Riley?” I’ve not heard from her, but then again, I haven’t written her either. At first, I was too angry, and now, well, now I just feel like everything I need to say needs to be said face-to-face.
“No. Raven and my folks,” he answers. “She said Riley was still seeing that guy from Jessup in her last letter.” He winces at his confession.
“Yeah, she told me that too. Said she was pissed she hadn’t met the guy yet.” I still have the letter, and I’ve read it a few times. That one letter warranted several journal entries and anger. Until I realized that it’s not her fault. I didn’t tell her what she meant to me. I didn’t tell her what our night together meant. So even though I’m pissed at her for running, I’m just as pissed at myself for not laying it out all for her that night, or hell, any night before that. I should have manned up and told her I was in love with her, so I’m just as much to blame as she is.
“You ever going to write her outside of that journal?” he asks.
“Nah. Everything I need to say needs to be face-to-face.”
“You sure about that, man?” I can hear the concern in his voice. “What if she moves on?”
“You said she wasn’t one to move on so quickly.”
“Yeah, but maybe she thinks you have.”
“Here?” I ask incredulously. “I love her, Clay. I can’t tell her that in a letter. I need to be standing in front of her. She needs to be able to see it in my eyes. I know Riley well enough to know she’s going to question it. I have to be there to prove it to her.”
“Sounds like you’re gearing up for a fight.” He chuckles.
“I am. A fight to win the girl.”
“And the other guy?”
Something twists in my chest thinking about Riley with anyone else. “He’s old news.”
“I wish I had your confidence, my man.”
“She’s it for me. I won’t ever stop trying to prove that to her.”
“Yet here you are. All because she pushed you away after a kiss.”
“Fucker,” I mutter, making him laugh. “Yeah, I made a bad decision. I’ve learned from my mistakes.”
“I hope it all works out for you.”
“What about you? You finally going to get your head out of your ass where Raven is concerned?” He’s quiet for so long I’m sure he’s fallen asleep when he finally replies.
“I’m in love with her.”
“I know. She loves you too.” Of that, I’m certain. Raven has never come out and said the words, but as her best friend and his, I know them better than they know themselves, and it’s obvious to all of us that these two are made for each other.
“I know she does,” he confesses.
“Then what’s the issue?”
“I don’t know if we know how to be anything else that we already are. We’re on again, off again. It’s what we do.”
I can tell he wants to say more, so I stay quiet. Besides, I’ve fucked up my love life enough. I’m not sure I’m qualified to give him advice.
“I’m in love with her, and I’ve kissed her a handful of times. It’s like she’s bewitched me.”
“Wait, so the two of you never have…?” I let my voice trail off. I know they’ve gone home together a lot, and I just assumed.
“Nope,” he says, popping the p. “Fuck, Hud, I would never be able to let her go if we’d gone there. I just… I know that I’m in love with her, and I know there would be no coming back from us if we go there.”
“Let’s be real here, Clay. There’s no going back now. There is no coming back from that kind of love. I might not have made the best choices when it comes to Riley, and I should have shouted it from the fucking rooftops that I’m in love with her. Take it from me. There is no going back, no matter what.”
“She’s why I’m here.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not the only one running.”
“Explain.”
He expels a heavy breath. “We were stuck in the same old flirt, kiss, and then back off. That’s what we do. It’s what we’ve always done, and I want more. I want so much fucking more. I’m hoping the time away gets us on the same page.”
“Are you telling her that?”
“No. Maybe I should get a journal like you?”
“I’m not showing this to Riley. Fuck, man, some of the stuff I’ve written. It’s not nice and full of love. I was mad at her, and when I found out she went out on a date and that she’s seeing this guy, let’s just say I didn’t hold back.”