Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77127 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77127 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
It’d started with a C but that was all that came to mind.
“Your cousin.” The voice that answered had a flat tone that said he wasn’t happy with the situation.
“Why in the fuck would you have him do it? He’s a moron. He can’t spell his way out of a paper bag.” The grumpy mage sounded like he was getting closer, so I set my sketch pad down.
“You suggested him.” The guy with the flat tone was pissed but it was a cold anger that made me want to fuck with him.
Unless he was a mage...so I told myself to behave.
“Oh, fuck.” The frustration in the mage’s voice and his sigh made me smile. “The council caught me after Ellen tried to fine me for not having flowers blooming in my yard like we were a fucking HOA. It was fucking November and it was stupid.”
I had to agree.
The flat-toned guy groaned. “Damn it.”
Yep, I agreed with him too.
“I’ll fix it.” Grumpy mage guy didn’t sound happy about that, but he seemed to understand the problem was his fault.
“Well, that explains a lot of the weird calls we’ve been getting.” The deputy was trying to sound professional but something about his tone said he found the whole thing funny. “People are getting lost entirely too easily.”
“And it probably explains a lot of the weird reviews we’ve been getting online.” A voice I couldn’t match with a face or a little sighed. “The reviews on most of the rentals in the area are terrible and it sounded like half the people were high.”
Nope, just tired of the roads disappearing.
“We’ll get it fixed and then sit down with the council and some of the other local business owners and see what we can do.” The mage sighed again. “Next time, make sure they know not to ask me to do anything after fucking with me first.”
That seemed like it should’ve been obvious, but maybe it was just me.
“Alright, let’s find out where Alick’s mate is hiding so I can make sure he can get back home and you guys can make sure he’s sane.” The mage definitely wasn’t sane, but I knew that already.
“Um, I thought we were the welcoming committee and were making sure he had friends?” The unfamiliar voice was definitely the nicest of the bunch and possibly the least devious based on the way the others chuckled. “That was what Lorne said.”
Oh, was he Lorne’s other mate?
The Daddy guy?
Had anyone said his name?
“Lorne also probably said he was crunchy too.” I didn’t have to see the deputy to know he’d rolled his eyes. “You have to tell him to stop telling everyone that human forms are crunchy. It’s at the point where if a body shows up having been gnawed on, he’s the first person I’m going to have to bring in for questioning.”
They were all so weird.
“He’d like that.” The mage’s response was probably honest but it got laughter from the group. “It’d make him feel important. Oh, how about we stage that for his birthday?”
Huh?
I’d landed in some fucked-up version of Oz.
Not the Oz from the first movie, the second one that was so fucking scary it gave kids nightmares.
Yep, these idiots had watched entirely too many scary movies growing up.
“I’m not fixing it so we find a dead body.” The deputy didn’t sound nearly shocked enough at the idea and it made me wonder what his life had been like when he’d first moved to the mountain. Hadn’t Kenzie said his Daddy had thought they were all aliens?
I was starting to understand why.
“We’ll just tell him there’s a body.” Surprisingly, it was the Daddy guy who was agreeing with the ridiculous idea. “We don’t need to have a body to make it work. You can just interrogate him and we’ll come to rescue him. He’ll like that.”
The laughter from the group said everyone agreed that Lorne would love it, but I didn’t because their sounds had gotten louder.
They’d found me.
“Hey, there you are.” The happy-sounding Daddy voice came a second before a face popped over the bushes. “Good job hiding.”
It was not hide-and-seek.
“Thank you.” Looking at the crowd that had come around to the front of my flower cave, I didn’t bother looking excited. “Thank you for fixing the spell. Being able to leave the property and find it again will make it easier to run errands.”
The man I thought was the flat-toned dragon based on his icy exterior raised one eyebrow. “Don’t you have a job?”
What did that have to do with anything?
“Yes, but someone needs to do things like grocery shop, and being self-employed, my day is more flexible.” I’d already confessed to Alick that what would drive him most insane about me was my ability to get distracted by projects, but he promised to say something if it ever started to make him imagine killing me.