Miranda in Retrograde Read Online Lauren Layne

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69877 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 349(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 233(@300wpm)
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And yet, a full four months after my conversation with Lillian and Daphne, I’ve found myself opening the Zodiac Zone app Daphne had suggested. Out of curiosity, and only curiosity, mind you.

I have to admit: the more often I read it, the more I understand it. Not believe it. But I find a certain comfort in feeling like there are some things planned for the day that are way out of my control.

And that all I have to do is follow some instructions on how to navigate my horoscope.

Thanks to Daphne and Google, I’ve learned the proper way to read one’s horoscope is by looking at your ascendant sign, also known as the rising sign. It’s the constellation that was rising on the eastern horizon at the exact time of your birth. For me, that’s Gemini.

If I may put on my scientist hat here for a moment? This sounds a bit like nonsense to me because it’s so very earth centric. It’s a big-ass universe out there, but astrologists would have us believe that our very destiny and personality is determined by what was happening on the eastern horizon on a single planet the moment we were born?

Still, I’ve since learned that the horoscope predictions Daphne had me read that night at Lillian’s house were in fact my rising sign horoscope. And it was more eerily accurate than I’d like to admit.

Even to myself.

Because here’s the thing with me and astrology. As a scientist, not only have I been trained to think such things are nonsense, I’ve preached it. I open the first day of every semester in all of my classes with a call for any and all questions. I make a point to clarify that none are too silly or far-fetched. And as a result, I have never had a single intro to astronomy or cosmos course in which someone hasn’t gathered the courage to ask—usually hopefully—if astrology is real.

To which I have without hesitation asserted:

No. Absolutely not.

I try to soften the blow to the hopeful student as best I can, explaining that thousands of years ago, astrology was absolutely understandable. Early humans would try to make sense of the world around them by what they could see and observe: the constellations and planets in our own solar system.

But we know so much more now. We know that our solar system is one of thousands in a galaxy that is one of hundreds of billions of galaxies. And that’s just in the observable universe.

So, does any part of me think that the location of the constellations and planets at the day and time of my birth have any bearing on the events of my life?

I just can’t believe that. I just can’t.

But sometimes? I want to. I want to be like Daphne, who believes not just in astrology, but in all the stuff. Numerology. Astral projection. The power of crystals.

And if you’re wondering how someone who believes in vortexes became best friends with someone who reads the Journal of Applied Physics… me, too.

But according to Daphne, our meeting was simply part of the universe’s master plan. We were twenty when we met. I’d been in the midst of getting my first doctorate, and Daphne had been putting herself through design school by waitressing at my favorite café studying spot. Somewhere between her slipping me free pieces of apple pie she knew I couldn’t resist and me giving input on her latest project, we’d just sort of felt meant for each other, in a sisterly kind of way. As though we each existed to plug a hole in the other person’s life.

Because I’d skipped ahead several years in school and had begun my undergrad at sixteen instead of the usual eighteen, I’d always been younger than my classmates, and thus didn’t have any solid, lasting friendships. Daphne’s closest childhood friend had recently relocated to Seattle, and as she’d put it, she missed having “a loved one’s life to meddle with.”

So she’d begun to meddle with mine. And even though this has meant that I now know way more about angel numbers and tarot than I ever thought possible, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So here I am. Pulling up my horoscope.

Just for fun.

In matters of the heart, keep your senses sharp today, darling Gemini. A chance meeting with a charming stranger could lead to a romantic encounter beyond your wildest dreams. This person may seem like a knight in shining armor, ready to swoop in and save the day, even as they nudge your life in a new direction.

“Fantastic,” I mutter, slipping my phone back into my bag. “I’ll be sure and secure a wedding venue right away.”

“Morning, Dr. Reed,” says Eric, the smiling barista whose shift always aligns with my schedule. “Usual?”

“Please,” I say as I pay with my Starbucks app and add a tip.


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