Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
She really was the lowest of the low, and if one good thing comes out of this whole mess it’s that I will never, ever be taken in by her act again. I’ve had my eyes well and truly opened to the person that she truly is.
It didn’t hurt quite as much as it could have because I had Viktor in my life now. I had genuinely wanted a relationship with my mom again, but as long as I had Viktor, I could do without that relationship. I don’t need toxic people around me who are there just to use me and drag me down.
39
AMELIA
A few times I started to worry if Viktor had forgotten about me, that he had just decided he didn’t want me anymore and he wasn’t coming back for me. I shook the thoughts away, reminding myself of the way he looked at me, the way he touched me.
He will come back.
I refused to give up hope. For a horrible moment around day eleven, I was struck with the idea that this was taking too long, and if I genuinely believed Viktor loved me, which I did, then that could mean only one thing. Things had gone wrong with Igor and Viktor was hurt, or worse, dead.
I dismissed the idea after a few nauseating, disconcerting moments that rocked me to my core. Viktor knew where I was, and that meant Jerome knew where I was too. If anything had happened to Viktor, Jerome would have told me.
I prayed that whatever the holdup was, it would be over soon. The pretense of Dan and my mom being over or trying to patch things up or whatever the story was soon went away and Dan moved into the trailer with us. It just kind of happened and no one even bothered to try to pretend anymore.
As much as I don’t believe for a second, I did anything to lead Dan on the first time around when he tried to rape me, I’ve made sure to wear nothing but jeans and long-sleeved tops that don’t show even the tiniest hint of cleavage. Unsurprisingly, that doesn’t stop Dan from leering at me and it doesn’t stop the comments. It seems that just having a pulse is enough to inadvertently lead Dan on.
The new trailer has fast become the old trailer. Closed curtains, overflowing ashtrays with empty bottles and cans everywhere. It seems my mom has stopped trying to pick up after Dan and that falls to me now. At first, I didn’t do it, but I soon realized I was cutting my nose off to spite my face. Dan and my mom just didn’t seem to see the mess, or if they did, it didn’t bother them. It bothered me though and I accepted that if I wanted it gone, I’d have to be the one to get rid of it.
I’ve become a regular Cinderella, only I have a wicked mother and a wicked stepfather. But I’m confident that my prince will come. Soon Viktor please, before I turn into a pumpkin or something.
There has been one spark of joy in the midst of my misery though. One thing that lights me up. Two days ago, I found out I’m pregnant. I snuck off to the doctor’s office to confirm what the home testing kit had showed me, and he confirmed it. It’s the thing that keeps me going. When things get bad, I lock myself away in my room and I lay on the bed, picturing Viktor and me with a baby.
I literally can’t wait to tell him my news.
Naturally, I’ve kept my news a secret from my mom and Dan. I can only imagine the way my mom would react. She will then see the baby as her meal ticket instead of me, and she will insist I call Viktor immediately and inform him about the baby and tell him exactly how much money she expects to receive. And Dan? Dan would make my life even more unbearable. I can just imagine the insults, the sneering, his thoughts on how I got pregnant and then lost the father.
Aside from the practical reasons I have kept my pregnancy a secret from my mom and Dan, there’s another reason too. The thought of telling them, the thought of them knowing something so personal about me turns my stomach. Viktor should know first, but even after I tell him, I don’t think I’ll be telling my mom and Dan. Not for a while at least. The thought of telling them makes the whole thing seem tainted somehow, like my little baby will have their dirty little paws all over it, seeing what they can get out of the situation.
I’m in my room now, secretly buoyed once more by the image of Viktor and me starting a family. I know he’ll be pleased when I finally get to tell him we’re having a baby. He can’t wait to be a father, and now he’s not going to have to wait much longer. I keep picturing how the nursery will look, cream and yellow with lovely soft toys.