Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
We stare at each other. My chest is heaving as I gasp for breath, but his eyes and expression are completely veiled. I smile shyly at Viktor as I wait for him to take me by the hand, to march me back out of the club and continue this moment somewhere a little more private.
He shakes his head slightly and rubs his hand over his cheeks and chin. “Fuck! I’m sorry, Amelia. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Disappointment floods through my body and I feel my shoulders slump. Suddenly, the club is too hot, the music too loud, and the alcohol in my stomach feels like it’s sloshing about, making me feel almost nauseous.
“Amelia? Are you alright?” Viktor asks, frowning at me.
No, I think to myself. He doesn’t get to kiss me like that, tell me it was a mistake, and then act like he gives a shit.
“I’m fine,” I say. “I’d like to go home now.”
“Of course. I’ll take you home,” he says immediately.
My paranoid mind thinks he sounds relieved. “No, I can get a cab.”
He shakes his head. “No way. I’ll make sure you get home safely.”
I nod, turn, and walk away, heading blindly for the exit. I feel so humiliated hot tears gather in my eyes. I blink them away furiously. I won’t give him the satisfaction. That would be icing on the cake of my disgrace.
I can hear Viktor’s footsteps behind me. He’s no longer trying to make conversation. I step outside, and the chilly night air wraps around me. I rub my hands on my arms as Viktor signals to his driver. The car appears quickly, and we get in.
I sit pressed up against the door, looking out into the darkened night. I’m upset that our kiss ended that way, and I’m embarrassed about the way I handled it. I should have shrugged it off, made out as though it was no big deal. Instead, I acted like Viktor had done something terrible to me.
We got caught up in a stupid moment; Viktor kissed me and then he remembered that I’m trailer trash and changed his mind. It shouldn’t be bothering me this much. I mean I barely know him. Logic isn’t helping though. I feel like I’ve lost something special, and I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help the way I feel.
I shoot a quick glance at Viktor. He’s sitting against his door, his posture matching mine, his face turned to look out of the window. It’s a very different scene to the way we were on the way here, chatting and completely at ease with each other.
I should have known this was too good to be true. I shouldn’t have let Viktor’s kiss affect me the way it did. But I know he wanted it as much as I did, and that somehow makes his rejection of me worse. If he didn’t feel any attraction to me, then I could deal with that, but this is personal. This is someone who does feel attracted to me but sees that I’m below their station – the hired help – and catches himself before it can go any further.
When the car pulls up outside of my place, we still haven’t spoken a word to each other. I don’t particularly want to break the silence. I feel so stupid, and I just want to go inside and close the door and forget the kiss ever happened, but I also can’t help but think that would be kind of rude after Viktor made the effort to take me to dinner and then out clubbing for my birthday. I take a deep breath and turn to him.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” I mutter.
He turns his head to look at me and smiles politely at me, but it’s a sad smile, full of regret. It does nothing to shift the lump that’s starting to form in my throat.
“I hope you enjoyed your birthday,” he says.
I nod. I did up until the last ten minutes of it when Viktor broke my heart. I scramble out of the car and tell myself off for being so dramatic. He didn’t break my heart, that’s stupid. It was a kiss that shouldn’t have happened, and that’s all there is to it.
The car doesn’t drive away until I open the entrance door to my building.
I run up the stairs, open my front door and rush straight up to my bedroom. I throw myself on my bed. I don’t even try to stop the tears when they come, releasing the lump in my throat.
It seems silly crying over something I never had, but I can’t help the way I feel. For a brief special moment there, I felt like maybe I could have Viktor. That maybe he felt the same way as I did. I know I didn’t do anything to put him off me.