Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
"Yeah." She gets up, and the dress falls to her ankles. “It's just, I kind of have something to talk to you about, and if I didn't come here, I don't know if I would have the courage tomorrow."
"Why don't we get you out of the heat?" I tell her, walking past her and ignoring the way that my head is spinning. I open the door and step in with her following me. I turn on the lights in the kitchen. “Do you want some water?"
"No." She shakes her head. “If I drink I'm probably going to throw up." She puts her hand to her stomach.
"Do you want to sit?” I ask, and she just looks at me.
"How much time do we have?” she asks, and I tilt my head to the side. “Like, is your date coming over?"
"I'm not dating anyone," I tell her. “Clarissa works for the firm, and she's here to help with the merger. She is happily married to her husband."
"What?" she gasps. “Why didn't you lead with that yesterday?"
"Why would you think I was on a date to begin with?" I counter her with my question.
"Because you showed up with her?" She throws her hands in the air. “What else would I think?"
"I would think that you would know how I feel about you." I put my hands on my hips.
"About that." She tries to joke, but I see her lower lip tremble. “I think I messed up." She says the words as if she is in pain. “Oh, God," she says as she puts her hand to her forehead. “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." My feet stick to the floor in my kitchen with an island between us. My head is going around and around as I try to figure out what the fuck she was saying. "When my father died…" She starts and then I can see the tears form in her eyes and she wipes them away. “I saw my mother go through every single day with something missing. She would pretend she was okay, she still does, but at night when she would climb into bed, I would hear her talking to him through the wall. She would literally go over her whole day." I can't even imagine how I would have handled that. "And then in the morning, it would be like it never happened."
"Gorgeous," I say to her, but she shakes her head and holds up her hand.
"If you interrupt me, I won't say what I need to say," she says. “What you deserve to know. I vowed I would never fall in love because losing it would have broken me." She wipes off her cheeks, but the tears keep rolling down them. “I just never wanted to rely on someone so much that if they left, half of me would leave with them." She chuckles. “And then, well, my siblings didn't help that at all. Watching Travis, Clarabella, and Shelby getting their hearts broken, and here I was with the only guy I've ever been with." Her voice shakes. “So I fought it because if I said how I felt, it would be taken away from me. It would be ripped from me, and then I would be just like my mother." She looks down, and I see her hands shaking. “Bennett, I won't be able to survive without you." She smiles through her tears. “The minute that I admit what I'm so scared to admit, it’ll be the end of us, and I don't think I can survive. These last weeks have been hell, one thousand percent the worst days of my life, and if it wasn't for the baby, I don’t know where I would be. Last night at home, I felt the baby kick for the first time," she says with a beaming smile, and I can't help the smile that fills my face. “At first, I thought it was in my head, but then I drank more apple juice, and it was not in my head." Her smile fades. “And all I wanted to do was call you. All I wanted was for you to be there with me. All I wanted was…" She trails off.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as the words she's just said spin around in my head. “In the hospital room, I told you."
"You told me you loved me at the same time that I was scared to lose our child," she snaps. “The whole reason I didn't call you was because I thought you would hate me if anything happened to the baby." Oh my God, it’s my turn to put my hands in front of my mouth. How could she even be thinking that?
"I would never…" I start to say to her, but she cuts me off.