Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
I walk into the house, dumping my purse on the table, and head straight to my bedroom. I undress right after I start the shower. All I can hear in my head is his voice. All that I've been hearing in my head are the words I love you. Over and over again, day and night, it's always there.
Stopping to look in the mirror, I see the little bump that just started to form. If I didn't know that I was pregnant, I would think that I just overate. I put my hand on my stomach, something that I do all the time now. I step into the shower and put my face back, walking under the stream of the water. Only when I'm under the water do I let out the first sob. It rips through me like a lightning bolt. Stepping back, I put my hands over my face as I cry out. This right here is what I was afraid of all this time. This pain in my chest, and has been since he told me he loved me, is a pain that I can't even put into words. I want to say it's like a stabbing pain over and over, but it doesn't do it justice. Every single time my heart beats, it feels like another piece is cut off.
Getting out of the shower, I wipe my face, but the tears don't stop. Nothing will stop it, and I crawl into bed. Placing my head on the pillow and holding my stomach while I cry, this right here is what I was afraid of.
This right here is what I was avoiding this whole fucking time. The pain that I fought so hard not to feel, yet here I am, broken-hearted. I have no idea what to do or how to fix this.
Every single day, I get up and get out of bed, but I do it for the baby. I eat only because I know that the baby needs it. I go online every day to read everything it has on the baby at this stage. My whole world now revolves around this little baby who is my whole life. A baby who was conceived with love. A baby who will forever be a part of me and a part of Bennett. A baby who is now the only reason he wants to talk to me.
The room slowly gets dark, and even though I texted my sisters hours ago telling them not to come over tonight and that I was fine, I hear the front door open. "Baby momma," Clarabella calls out, and then I hear her feet coming closer and closer to my bedroom. "Are you sick?” she asks from the doorway. “Is it the baby?"
"I'm fine." I don't bother lifting my head, but I also don't bother hiding my face.
She sits on the bed next to me. “What's the matter?"
Everything, I almost say out loud. The fact that I love a man and can't tell him. The fact that I'm petrified of telling him with the notion that he'll leave me. The fact that even though I said that I had to leave him, actually doing it is killing my soul. But instead, I lie and try to tell myself that this is how it's supposed to be. "Nothing," I lie, and as I say it, the tears just continue to pour out. "I'll be fine," I whisper, hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
Chapter 21
Bennett
"I'll be back in about an hour," I tell Andrew as I walk out of my office. The phone starts to ring in my hand as I walk to the door. “Hello," I say after four rings, not even checking who it is.
"So I take it you’re alive," Travis jokes to me as I chuckle, pushing open the office’s front door and stepping out into the sunshine. The heat hits me right away as the sun burns down on me, making me shrug off my suit jacket.
"I'm alive," I assure him as I unlock the car door and get in, starting it right away. I toss my suit jacket on the passenger seat, the Bluetooth connecting right away, so I put my phone in the cupholder.
"It's been two weeks," he says, and I put my head back on the seat and close my eyes.
It's been sixteen days, to be exact, but who is counting? I almost say. “I know. I've been swamped with work," I huff. The only saving grace to all of this is that I'm in the middle of the biggest merger of my life. Two of the biggest tech companies are merging, and it's been all hands on deck since they came to us. It's a once-in-a-lifetime deal, and even though I spent over eight hours at the office, and I got home bone-dead tired, I still hated walking into my house. I didn't go anywhere but the bedroom. I sleep for a max of five hours, sometimes less, and when I'm done tossing and turning, I get up and just head to the office.