Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 350(@200wpm)___ 280(@250wpm)___ 234(@300wpm)
He shakes his head, the defeat written all over his face. “I've loved you for the past twelve years." The words come out like he’s in pain. “With every single fiber of my being, I love you." My lower lip trembles, and the tears now come without warning. The look of anguish is all over his face, and it hurts me to my core. “I love you, Presley." A lone tear runs down his face. “I don't know why I thought maybe, just maybe, you felt the same." His hand moves up to the back of his neck as he holds it.
"But you knew." The words come out without me thinking. “You knew that I was never going to get married." He stares into my eyes, and he looks like he's going to say something. "I never changed my mind on that."
"I didn't care if we got married. I didn't have to be married," he says. “All I wanted was you. I would have taken you any way I could have you. I would have given you whatever it is you wanted." His hand falls from his neck. “I just fucking wanted you." You have me, I want to yell out at the top of my lungs. I'm yours. But I don't even have a second to come back before he continues, “I won't burden you anymore with my feelings." Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it does. “I won't burden you with being stuck with me, at least not romantically." The need to sob out grips my whole body, and I fight it back. This is what you wanted, I remind myself. "We are having a baby together, and that will be my main focus." I sit up now when he stops talking, and I'm about to tell him that I do love him, but the door swings open.
"I come bearing snacks,” Clarabella says with a smile on her face, and she stops mid step when she takes in the standoff that is happening. The smile fades from her face. “I have juice also." She looks at Bennett and then looks at me. “Is everything okay?"
"Just fine," Bennett says. “I'll be in the waiting room." He doesn't even look my way before turning and walking out. I watch the door close softly behind him, my vision blurry from the tears that have built up and are now falling over my lids and down my face.
"What just happened?" Clarabella walks over to the side of my bed, putting down the snacks and juice she got on the bedside table.
"Nothing," I reply, using the back of my hand to rub off the tears from my cheeks. “I'm just worried about the baby," I say, putting my hand back on my stomach, thinking not so long ago when I found out that the baby was okay.
When the doctor walked into the room and told me that there was nothing he could do, it's almost as if I didn't hear the words. It was Clarabella who was my voice at that point. “If you don't want to do your job as a doctor, then can you send someone else in who will." He was taken aback by her tone. “And if that is the case, we can go to another hospital." I didn't want to tell her that I wasn't fucking leaving here.
The doctor nodded at her and looked back at me. “The first thing we are going to do is check and see if there is a heartbeat." He walked over to the sink to wash his hands. “Lie back, and if you can, pull your skirt down to your hips." I did what he asked me to do. “I will tell you that if you are in the process of a miscarriage, there is nothing we can do about it."
"Can we stop saying that fucking word?" Clarabella hissed. “And see what's going on in there." She pointed at my stomach, and the doctor sat down on the stool and wheeled himself over to the light and turned it off before he wheeled back to me.
I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea what I was looking at, but when he put the blue gel on my stomach and pressed the thing down on it, and I looked over at the monitor, I let out a sob when I saw my baby still there. Very much in the same position as this afternoon. He moved from right to left, and then he pressed a button, and you could hear what sounded like galloping horses. “That's the heartbeat," he said, and I just put my hands in front of my face and sobbed.
"Why is Bennett in the waiting room and not by your side?" Clarabella asks, and I grab the bottle of apple juice. I twist off the top and take a sip. The cold sweetness hits my tongue right away. "It's okay to tell him that you need him."