Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 16556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 66(@250wpm)___ 55(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 16556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 83(@200wpm)___ 66(@250wpm)___ 55(@300wpm)
Alpha Defense is his passion. He loves the work and I think he’s always had a crush on Atlas. It seems so weird that he would suddenly just move his entire life to New York.
Then the last part of his statement registers with me. For however long it is this time.
“I always disappoint you.” The thought makes me want to cry. I’ve never been able to make anybody happy. Never made anyone want to love me.
He pauses and studies me. “You don’t disappoint me. I wish you could find a way to be happy.”
Ryan makes me happy.
I stop myself from saying the words. I can’t tell my brother that I’m in love with his friend or that he makes me feel whole.
“I have a flight to catch,” Eric says. “If you need anything, Ryan will have your back. I’m sure he’ll work something out with you about the apartment if you want to keep staying there.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Is this goodbye?”
“For a while, yeah.” He nods to me. “I hope you take care of yourself. Do me a favor and one of these days, try to figure out what you’re running from.”
I wish we had a normal relationship. That we had grown up together. I wish even now that I were close enough to give him a hug or a pat on the back or even a clap on the shoulder. But all of that would feel weird. “Good luck then.”
“Thanks. Good luck with…” He waves a hand. “Wherever you end up next.”
After my conversation with Eric, I go to the apartment and pack my stuff. It doesn’t take long. I’ve been living out of a backpack for years.
Since I don’t know where I’ll end up, I cover my paintings with tarps and stow them in the closet. Eric won’t care if I leave them.
One canvas though I leave out. It’s my favorite.
The one that me reminds of Ryan. I created it for him. Even though I won’t get to see his face when I give it to him, I still want him to have it. Maybe one day he’ll see it and think of our night together. Maybe he’ll even smile.
Taking the large canvas, I put it in his bedroom and set it up. Once everything is arranged, I grab my backpack and leave the apartment, cutting out the lights as I go.
I don’t know where I’m going to end up next. But I’ll figure it out. I’ve spent my life landing on my feet. I can do it again…even with a broken heart.
8
RYAN
I can’t find Lacey. I search through the whole masquerade, feeling more desperate with every passing moment. She wouldn’t have left.
As soon as I think it, my gut tightens. Of course, she would. This is exactly what Eric was trying to tell me.
I yank my cell from my suit and dial her number. But after two unanswered calls, I have my answer.
When we were in the bathroom, I knew something was wrong. I should have insisted she talk it out. I should have taken the time to slow down and listen.
Now all I can do is get to her before she runs again. I don’t even know where she’d go or how to look for her.
On my way to the apartment, I call Eric.
“Where is she?” I growl as soon as he answers. I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I can’t lose her. I can’t have it be over. Not after what we just shared, the way we were together.
He sighs into the line. “She’s gone.”
“Where?” During my time in the military, I spent months in blazing hot deserts, humid jungles, and overgrown forests. Now, I can endure any environment…if I have Lacey by my side.
“Damn if I know.” He pauses. “This is what I was warning you about.”
I’m trying to find the woman I love, and he wants to turn it into a lecture. “Think about it. Where would Lacey go if she were truly upset?”
“You think she lets me in any more than she’s let you in? I don’t know a fucking thing about her!” It’s the first time I’ve heard him express strong emotion about Lacey.
“Whose fault is that, asshole?” I shout the words into the phone. “You barely made an effort with her. As usual, your weak ass was afraid to get hurt.” I’m not sure which one of us I’m more pissed off with. Me for losing Lacey or him for never even trying with her in the first place.
“I’ll let you know when I hear from her again.” With that, Eric ends the call.
I know what he was refusing to say. It could be months or even years before she resurfaces. Who knows where her head and her heart will be then?
She’ll have found someone new by then, someone who gets to satisfy her in hotel bathrooms and sits up late watching TV with her.