Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33327 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33327 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Being Little and living alone wasn’t easy. She’d never had a caregiver. She’d met several Daddies at the club in the past year since she’d joined, but she’d never made a special connection with any of them.
Sometimes when she was alone in her apartment, she pretended to be even younger, but it was harder to regress deeper alone.
Tricia returned with the nail polish and sat in the chair next to Mindy’s. She reached over, grabbed the sides of the plastic seat, and turned Mindy so she was fully facing Tricia instead of the table.
After shaking up the polish, she lifted Mindy’s hand into her warm palm. “What pretty nails you have, Baby girl,” she commented.
“I don’t bite them,” Mindy announced. Mostly because that had been a rule her mother enforced by admonishing her every time Mindy lifted a hand toward her mouth for her entire childhood. Her mother had often swatted at Mindy’s hand. When Mindy had been very young, the swats had been to keep her from sucking her thumb. When she’d gotten older and begun to feel stressed, she’d gotten swatted for biting her nails.
To this day, keeping her hands away from her mouth was always a challenge.
Tricia gave her another smile. “Is that hard, Baby girl? To keep from biting your nails?”
Mindy swallowed. “Sometimes,” she muttered.
“Do you suck your thumb?” Tricia asked as she carefully applied the first stroke of nail polish.
Mindy shook her head vigorously.
Tricia furrowed her brow. “Is that challenging too?”
Mindy’s face heated, and she looked away.
“I’m sorry, Baby girl. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. There’s nothing unusual about Little girls sucking their thumbs. I’ve just never seen you do so. You don’t carry a pacifier either. Do you use one at home?”
Mindy pursed her lips and sat very still.
Tricia waited patiently for her to respond.
What could it hurt? Tricia didn’t seem judgmental. “Sometimes,” she whispered, her cheeks heating further.
“Why does that embarrass you, Baby girl?”
“It’s a terrible habit,” Mindy admitted, parroting her mother. She could hear the woman in her head. “I should learn to self-soothe without needing a crutch.”
Tricia’s brow furrowed again. “Who told you that?”
Mindy swallowed. “My mother,” she whispered even softer.
“Ah. Is she still in your life?”
Mindy shook her head. “No.”
Tricia winced. “I’m sorry, Baby girl. Did she pass?”
“No.” Mindy didn’t meet Tricia’s gaze. She’s just a bitch. Mindy hadn’t seen her in four years, and yet the woman still had influence over her. “I moved away. She was… I… We had too many differences.”
“I see. Well, if the relationship was toxic, then you probably did the right thing.”
“Toxic is an understatement,” Mindy admitted.
“Then I’m glad you left. Did she judge you for being Little?”
Mindy shook her head. “She didn’t know about that side of me.”
“Ah. Your memory must go way back if you can recall being reprimanded for sucking your thumb or using a pacifier.”
“Yeah.” It was probably so traumatic that Mindy hadn’t ever shaken the constant reprimanding.
“She’s not here now, and you’re often in a very young Little space. Maybe you could cut yourself some slack and let yourself self-soothe. Baby girls like you sometimes need to suck their thumb or use a pacifier. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“It’s bad for your teeth,” Mindy blurted.
“Sometimes Littles can be aggressive thumb suckers and it can be hard on their teeth. That’s true, but they make special pacifiers for grown adults that are safe for adult teeth.”
Tricia set the nail brush back in the bottle, lifted Mindy’s fingers closer to her lips, and blew on them. When she finished, she tickled Mindy under her chin. “Sucking your thumb occasionally wouldn’t kill you either though, Baby girl, especially if you’re someplace without your binky and you need the comfort.”
Mindy licked her lips. “Okay.” She would have to think about Tricia’s suggestion. It was hard to accept. Maybe Tricia was right.
“If I were your Mommy, however, I wouldn’t let you bite your nails. That’s not a very good habit. There are better ways to self-soothe than biting your nails down to the quick and making them bleed.”
A little shiver raced up her spine. Obviously Tricia would never be her Mommy. The idea was ludicrous. It was certainly nice having her paint her nails though.
Tricia set Mindy’s hand down gently on her thigh. “Hold this one still for me, Baby girl, while I do the other one.”
Mindy was wearing a short pink dress that left her thighs bare, and the brush of Tricia’s hand against her skin startled her. “Yes, Ma’am.”
“Good girl.” Tricia picked up her other hand. “Would you like to tell me more about yourself, Mindy?”
“Like what?” Mindy asked as she watched Tricia resume her careful painting. She was good at this. She held Mindy’s fingers very still and never brushed the polish over her skin.
“What do you do when you’re not at the club?”