Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
She narrows her gaze as though trying to figure out where she knows him from, and with that, he gives me a small smile, silently asking if I’m good now. I nod, and not a moment later, Ezra slips out of the ladies’ room, leaving me to finally find my composure, and with it, the strength I need to finally start putting the past behind me.
24
Raleigh
Anxiety pulses through my veins as I stand at the side of the stage, watching Rock, Dylan, and Jett get night two in Madrid underway. The intro has quickly become one of my favorite parts of the show, watching the crowd as the boys finally appear on stage, and the way Rock dominates the beat is insane. The whole stadium is already on their feet before Ezra even appears on stage.
I pull back a step, watching Ezra make his way through the backstage area, preparing for his grand entrance.
Then as if sensing my stare, his gaze sails to me, and a soft, knowing smile lights up his face. Last night was rough, and I know he’s still feeling the effects of my bathroom breakdown, and honestly, so am I, but I’ve come to the realization that I can’t go on like this. I haven’t been able to heal for eight years, and keeping apart from him is only hurting us both more.
Every word I said to him last night was true.
I’ve spent years blaming Axel and Ezra for the hell I went through, putting my pain on their shoulders instead of where it truly belongs—my father’s.
He’s the one who should be punished. He should be the one to feel my wrath. And one day, I will see that it happens, but today is about Ezra.
Yes, there were some things that we could have done differently as a couple. I could have tried harder to keep in touch, to respond to his emails and texts, and try to make it work long distance. I could have listened to his lyrics and tried to see things from his point of view. He was trying to give me the life I’d always talked about, and if I had been honest back then and told him and Axel what was really going on at home, everything would have been different.
It really was my fault.
But now it’s time I take back what’s always been mine and finally make this right. Hence why I’m so fucking nervous. After my little panic attack in the restaurant bathroom, I spent the remainder of my night on the phone with Madds, and after working out a plan, I’m finally ready. I think . . . shit. Maybe I’m not.
Ahhhh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This is absolutely ridiculous and could go wrong in a million different ways, not to mention, it could possibly get me fired, but there’s no backing out now. The wheels have been set in motion, and I’m not finishing my night without getting to call Ezra Knight mine.
I watch his every step, and as he watches me back, his brows furrow, clearly sensing something is going on with me, but he doesn’t have the time to question it. He keeps going to take his position beneath the stage, preparing to catapult up through the ground.
Every night it’s insane. I’d love to know what it feels like being on that catapult, but to be completely honest, I think I would shit my pants. Instead, I prefer to watch him shoot out of the top with the lights, the crowd, the music, and the vibe. It’s everything.
Ezra is out here living his dream each night, and I couldn’t be prouder.
The drum tempo picks up, and I shuffle back into the stage wing to get the best view in the house. A stupid smile cuts across my face, and I cheer right along with the crowd. When Ezra finally launches out of the stage, tears of absolute joy spring to my eyes.
He glances at me just as he does every night, and seeing the stupid grin across my face, his whole world lights up. I haven’t seen joy like that since before he left for that very first tour.
The smile on his face is intoxicating, and as he grabs his microphone and lets loose on Madrid, I realize that as long as I have him, I won’t ever have to worry about the hell back in Michigan ever again. You know, apart from when I finally find the courage to lay it all out on the table and be honest.
Just like every show, Jessica and Stacey hover in the wings during the first song, and despite their constant scowling and judgment, nothing could wipe the smile off my face, especially tonight.
Hearing their cue, they head out on stage, shaking their fake asses, and all I can do is laugh as a wicked smirk stretches across my face.