Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
My shoulders sag as I gaze up at her. I haven’t been with anyone since starting college, to the point I’m becoming quite fond of the cobwebs growing in my vagina. Fucking around with random guys isn’t really my style. He Who Shall Not Be Named Out Loud ruined me for that, but the idea of being touched by a man . . .
Shit. I have mixed feelings. I have a whole closet of trauma that I refuse to look at, but at what point am I supposed to claim my life back? My years with Ezra were amazing, but after they left me alone with him . . . It destroyed me in every way.
Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.
I have more scars than any woman should ever have to deal with, and they’re all packaged up inside of me. But every day, I feel the seals of that package begin to weaken, like little tendrils of a rope, slowly breaking fiber by fiber, and eventually, it’s going to tear wide open, and I’m terrified of the day that happens.
I’m not coping. I can feel myself falling to pieces, but maybe Madds is right. Maybe holding out on myself isn’t the key. Maybe it’s time to let go and try to enjoy the smaller things in life. Who knows, maybe this guy is the one who’s going to light a match inside of me and ignite the fire that Ezra burned out.
“Alright,” I finally tell her, feeling the small amount of hope I just mustered up already fading fast. “Give me his number.”
Madds gapes at me. “Wait. What?” she stutters. “For real? I was just talking shit. There’s no way I thought you’d actually agree. I was already thinking about ordering Thai food.”
“Do you want me to go or not?”
“Yes!” she screeches, flying up from my bed. “Oh my god, yes! We need to figure out something for you to wear. Holy shit.” Madds pauses and looks at me, tears forming in her big blue eyes. “My girl is finally going to get laid.”
Well, shit. What could possibly go wrong?
Two hours later, I walk into the only fancy restaurant in town, and by fancy, I mean it’s the only one that offers napkins and clean cutlery. Apart from this, our options were McDonald’s or the college bar. At least here I could maybe get a decent steak.
Making my way to the hostess, I offer her a small smile. “Hi, I’m meeting someone. I’m not sure what he looks like.”
“Do you have a name?”
I cringe. Shit. Why’d she have to hit me with the hard questions? “Uhhh . . . Brad. I think?”
The hostess looks over her booking sheet, trailing her fingers through the names. “Ah, yes. Brad. We have you right here. It doesn’t look as though he’s arrived yet. Can I offer you a seat at the bar while you wait, or would you like to go straight to your table?”
“The table will be fine, thank you.”
“Sure thing.”
The hostess leads me through the restaurant and shows me to my table, and as she scurries off, I take my seat and gaze over the menu.
The waitress comes by, and I order a glass of water while I wait. As the time passes, I stop watching the door with anticipation and stare into my empty glass.
By the thirty minute mark, any remaining hope I had for tonight plummets out of existence. The waitress brings me a fresh water, and I let out a sigh as she places it down in front of me. “I’m embarrassing myself, aren’t I?” I ask. “I should leave and save my dignity.”
“Girl, I would have left twenty minutes ago. Any man who makes you wait thirty minutes on a first date is not a man worth waiting for.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say, getting up. “Sorry for wasting your time. You could have been waiting on a decent table instead of watching me sulk for half an hour.”
“It’s fine, honey.”
She gives me a pitying smile before disappearing. Trying to save what’s left of my night, I make my way toward the exit of the restaurant when the door opens and a tall beast of a man strides in. His gaze shifts around the restaurant, quickly scanning the faces before finally landing directly on mine.
A forced smile cracks across his face as he approaches me. “Hey, Raleigh, right?”
My gaze shifts up and down his tall frame. There’s no denying that he’s hot. Almost perfect, actually, but I’m not impressed. “I take it you’re Brad?”
“Yeah. Shit. How long have you been here?” he questions, not giving me a chance to bail before stepping into me and bustling me back toward the table I just vacated.
“Long enough,” I tell him. “I’m out.”
“Don’t be stupid. Sit down. Have a drink,” he says, leaning back as though he’s got this in the bag. “Relax.”