Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92659 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92659 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
“We talked.”
I wait for Eurydice to continue, but she’s got a stubborn set to her jaw that I recognize all too well. It’s the same expression she wore earlier when she backed me into a corner about what I want to do with my life. I’m still feeling raw after that. It felt like ripping open my rib cage and exposing my still-beating heart to her. Everyone knows I love to paint, but I’ve never admitted that I hate all the other bullshit. I don’t even know that I understood my feelings on it until my life fell apart and I realized how little I value the same things my so-called friends hold so highly.
I still don’t see a way forward entirely. Networking is a necessary part of the art world, which means I’ll have to engage in it to some extent. But I don’t have to do it right now. More than that, if Charon’s right that war is coming, there’s going to be little need for art in a city under siege. I don’t know if that thought stresses me out or brings a little relief. For better or worse, I have time to figure my shit out.
Still, there’s one thing left to address. I clear my throat. “You didn’t have to buy the painting supplies for me. It’s too extravagant. I don’t deserve…” I shoot Eurydice a guilty look. “It’s too much,” I finally say.
“It’s a gift, Orpheus,” Charon says mildly. “I did it because I wanted to.”
“But—”
“Did it feel good to paint again?”
I don’t want to admit exactly how good it felt, but doing anything else amounts to a lie. I drum my fingers on the countertop, glaring at them instead of at Charon and Eurydice. The words try to stick in my throat, but I push through. “Yes. It felt like waking up after a long sleep. It will take me some time to get into the rhythm of it again, but it felt very, very good.”
Charon nods as if I answered a question beyond the apparent one. “Then it was well worth the cost.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “And the rest?”
I lift my gaze to him, questioning. What rest? What’s he talking about?
It’s Eurydice who answers for us this time. “I told Orpheus that although I enjoy him on his knees, I don’t want him there every hour of every day. He needs something for himself, just like both of us have something for ourselves. I had to back him into a corner to get an answer, but he wants to paint.”
“And you want to work for Hades.” He pins her with a long look. “Hades is a fair boss, but you’ve moved yourself from sheltered sister-in-law to employee. He won’t coddle you anymore. He’ll treat you like the rest of us, and I expect that will mean training as soon as there’s space for it.”
She lifts her chin. “I’m aware.”
“I know. There’s no shame in changing your mind though. Remember that as things get even messier in the coming months.”
This conversation is all well and good, but it’s not what I thought we were going to talk about. With Eurydice and Charon staring each other down, I should probably stay silent, but I can’t quite help myself. “What about us?”
“Elaborate.” Charon speaks so softly that for a moment I wonder if I’ve made a misstep. It takes me a few seconds to realize he’s being just as careful with us as Eurydice and I have been with each other. We’re all doing this delicate dance where no one is quite saying what they want. I could maintain that, but I can’t stand the thought of not knowing. No matter how uncomfortable this conversation gets.
“Us. You, me, and Eurydice. Is there a future with the three of us?”
He looks at me for a long moment, and then turns his attention to Eurydice. “Well?”
She clenches her fists, and then seems to make an effort to unclench them. The silence gains weight until it presses unbearably against my skin. Earlier, she said that she cares about me—about both of us—but it’s a long way from caring to wanting to build a life together. I’ve been such a little prick, and even though I’m trying my best, I’m going to continue to fuck up. It won’t be on the same level as a year ago, but that doesn’t mean that I’m entitled to them assuming good faith.
She finally exhales in a slow, steady stream that can’t quite be called a sigh. “Look, I love Orpheus. Even with all of the bullshit and baggage, I don’t think I ever stopped loving him.” She holds Charon’s gaze. “I love you too. You’ve been my best friend for a year, and you’ve given me the space and safety to learn things about myself I didn’t think were possible. I know it’s greedy, but I don’t care. I want both of you.”