Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 290(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
It was a great to see her this way, and I stayed at her side, following the moves as best I could when my eyes were on her instead of paying attention. Being with Bella was relaxing all on its own, so much that I hadn’t noticed the people surreptitiously snapping photos of us dancing and laughing. It wasn’t until Bella nearly tumbled over in those fuck me heels, that I remembered we were supposed to be putting on a show.
“Whoa,” she laughed so hard her shoulders shook. “These shoes are hot, but maybe not meant for dancing.”
“Not upright dancing,” I told her and she laughed even harder, and it drew even more attention our way.
She pushed at my chest when we were both standing still again, but I pulled her close as a slow song started up. “Is your mind always in the gutter?”
“I don’t know Bella, do you consider sex to be the gutter?”
“Of course not, I just don’t think of it as much as you do.” She laughed and shook her head. “Then again, I’m not sure Everest thinks of sex as much as you do.”
I laughed. “Maybe it’s because he’s not around a lot of females he’d like to get sexy with.” I pulled her even closer so we were chest to chest and my lips were right by her delicate ear. “Can’t help it if you make me think of sex, Bella.”
She couldn’t stop the shiver that tore through her at my words. She might hate me, but she was attracted to me anyway. “I think that has less to do with me, and more with to do with my parts.”
“Your parts?” I let my hand wander up to the low scoop of her dress until my fingertips brushed against her smooth, bare skin.
“Yep. Boobs and legs, ass too. Did I say boobs?”
I laughed. “Keep saying it, I have no problem with it, especially with said boobs pressed up against me so snugly.”
“Exactly my point.”
She was wrong, and though I knew my next move might end the evening on a sour note, I couldn’t let another moment pass without Bella knowing the truth. It wasn’t an excuse, but I needed her to know that how I treated her in the past was more about me than it was about her.
“I’m sorry Bella, for everything.”
She tried to pull back, but I wouldn’t let her. I kept one hand low on her back and the other firmly planted in mine.
“I’m serious, and I have you trapped so you have to listen.” She swallowed audibly and nodded as her body gave up the fight. “I was a jerk to you, no that’s too tame a word. I was a giant asshole to you, but I need you to know that it wasn’t because I disliked you or hated you.”
“Sure,” she grunted and continued to let her body sway to the slow song.
“It’s true. I liked you a lot, more than I knew what to do with as a teenage kid packed full of hormones. You made me horny sure, and I spent more than a few showers thinking about you, but it wasn’t just that. You made me feel protective of you without even trying, and I rebelled against that, viscerally so. I handled my emotions terribly, and I know my actions were unforgivable, but I hope you know that it was me, not you Bella. I think you’re great now, and I did back then too. You were so smart and sweet, even when people didn’t deserve it.”
“Derek,” she sighed and I leaned my head against hers.
“That’s the truth Bella, the whole ugly truth.”
She sucked in a breath and pulled back to look me in the eyes. “What do you want me to do with that Derek?”
I smiled. “I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me, but more than that, I want you to know that how I treated you wasn’t because I didn’t like you, it wasn’t because I found you unworthy or lacking in any way. It was the exact opposite.”
For a long time Bella said nothing, and the truth was, I didn’t expect her to say anything. Not right away. It was a lot to process, especially given the way she’d left Carson Creek and hadn’t look back for decades. “Thank you for saying that Derek. For telling me.”
It wasn’t forgiveness, not yet. But maybe now her mind and her heart were open enough to see me for the man I was today.
Chapter 17
Bella
“Is your mom cool with you taking me in and living on the farm?” Everest seemed nervous, which was unusual for him. The kid was the unflappable one of the two of us, and now I felt on edge as we turned to navigate the maze of the airport.