Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
I stared at her.
“Of course you didn’t,” she said sadly. “You didn’t know where I was. You didn’t know I needed you. I understood that. But like I said, thinking you know something and believing it are two entirely different things. I believed that you’d show up, even knowing that I hadn’t given you any clues. I couldn’t imagine that life or the universe or whatever would keep you from finding me. I had to believe that, or I would’ve spiraled so badly I would’ve never been able to pull myself out of it.”
“All it would’ve taken was a single phone call,” I said hoarsely. “One letter.”
“I don’t think you really ever understood what my house was like,” she replied with a grimace. “It made me sick to defy my parents. It was like, the minute I did something wrong, they’d know, and the panic of that was a physical thing. The only time I’d ever been able to do that was with you. You made me feel safe. You made me feel like the consequences would be worth it, and once you were out of my reach, I lost any shred of courage I’d had.”
“I would’ve come to get you,” I ground out, my throat tight. “I would’ve been there so fast.”
“I understand that now,” she replied, tears dropping onto her cheeks. “But I didn’t know it then. It took every single shred of courage and self-confidence I had to go against their wishes and keep Rhett, after that, I had nothing left. Not for you, not for anyone.”
I scrubbed at my face and realized my hands were shaking. I knew her parents were terrible. I’d always known it. But I don’t think I’d ever acknowledged just how bad they’d been. They hadn’t just been shitty or strict or narrow-minded. They been controlling to the point of making their only child too afraid to make any of her own choices. The realization was like a sucker punch to the jaw.
“Once, when I’d talked about getting a job and getting my own place,” Emilia said, her voice barely audible in the quiet kitchen. “They started discussing how young I was to be a mother and ill-equipped to handle doing it on my own, and how much more prepared they were to raise Rhett.” Her eyes met mine and her breath hitched. “So, I never brought it up again.”
It took everything I had not to throw something. Hit something. Tear something apart. Those motherfuckers.
“Once they were gone, it took me a minute to get my feet under me,” she said with a shrug. “I was still so scared of making the wrong choice, even though they weren’t there to punish me for it.”
“Come here.”
“I didn’t know how to make my own decisions anymore,” she said, ignoring me. “And I didn’t want to just show up here, weak and useless, so that you could make my decisions for me.”
“Come here, Emilia.”
She shook her head just once. “So I got a job,” she said with a huff. “It was at a strip club.” She ignored my startled jerk. “I was just waitressing, but the tips were still good, and I could leave Rhett with the neighbor and he liked that. She was sweet and older, and they watched cartoons until he fell asleep. It was fun for him, and I could work, and it was okay. Sort of okay.” Her words just kept coming, faster and faster as she stared at nothing. “But then the manager started getting handsy and controlling, and I didn’t like it. At all. He finally cornered me in the back hallway and I kneed him in the balls and I never went back. He creeped me out so bad that I took what money I had and we completely left town.”
“Sugar, come here,” I snapped, finally getting her attention.
“Are you going to strangle me?” she asked with a breathless uncomfortable laugh, walking toward me.
Just the act of pulling her into my arms made the rage in my chest dull from a tsunami to a quiet roar.
“I was worried he’d follow us,” she said with an embarrassed huff. “So we took the long way here. Stupid, I know. But he seemed so much scarier in Arizona. He knew everyone, and I think he was into shit I didn’t ever see. I don’t know, people were afraid of him and I knew he was probably really pissed that I’d turned him down.”
“What’s his name?” I asked, running my fingers through her hair. A little trip to Arizona wouldn’t be a big deal. I could be there and back in a few days and I was sure Rumi would love to ride along.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said softly, her body relaxing into mine. “We’re here and he’s just another bad memory.”
“You want me to look into him?”