Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 63565 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 318(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63565 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 318(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
I swallow, sucking in a breath as I look up at him. “My very existence.”
Stepping away from him, I retreat back inside.
I don’t finish my dinner; instead, I clean up Myla’s house before going back over to the club, claiming exhaustion. It’s not a complete lie, I am exhausted, emotionally and physically.
It takes me a while to remake the bed and get myself ready, but the moment I sink into the sheets and my head hits the pillow, I feel scarily alone. It’s a deafening silence that is unbearable. Rolling to my side, I clench my eyes shut, desperately trying to stop the feelings inside. I hate them. I’m stronger than them. I’ve lived my entire life without ever feeling anything other than pure rebellion and rage. That’s just who I am.
My door creaking has me rolling to face it.
Mex walks in, shirtless, and without a single word he strides toward me. Reaching down, he tosses the covers back and slides into the bed next to me. His hot, hard body presses against mine in the small space, and he pulls me into him. I wish he wouldn’t, I wish he didn’t decide to come in here, I wish he would just walk away and leave me alone because every single time he does something like this, I find myself unable to turn away, unable to resist any longer.
“Are you in pain?” he asks.
“Yes,” I admit.
Every single time I roll, the sheets scratch against my body, sending a new wave of pain through it.
“Did you take something?”
“Yeah,” I whisper into the darkness.
Silence.
“We can’t keep doing this,” I dare to say, my voice barely a whisper.
“I know,” he murmurs into my hair.
“Then why do you keep coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
God damn him.
His lips roam over my forehead and my heart skips a beat as he lowers down, over my nose and cheeks, until his mouth is on mine. His kiss is soft and filled with need as he parts my lips with his tongue and deepens it. I can’t help it, I melt into him and kiss him back with every emotion I’ve got, until we’re both clinging to each other, completely engulfed in this moment.
Pulling back, his growl fills the dark night. “I fuckin’ want you.”
I don’t know if he means right now or ... all the time.
“I know,” I breathe.
“Do you want me?”
“I don’t know,” I answer.
A low chuckle in the dark.
A smile spreads across my face.
“Mex?”
“Yeah?”
“Fuck me slow tonight – everything hurts.”
A hiss.
But he obliges.
Oh, does he oblige.
He fucks me slow and deep that night, his cock filling me in ways I’ve never been filled, his hands roaming every part of my body, his mouth tracing every part of my skin. Our bodies move together in a way that feels as if we’ve been made for each other, and I can’t help but let my heart crack wide open when he’s inside me. Everything I try to hold back is rushing out. He is so incredibly gentle with me.
I’m falling for him.
I’m falling for a man I can never have.
Because if he knew who I was, who I really was, he would never want me in return.
The truth would break him, and I know it.
Maybe it’s time he knew it, because it seems to be the only way I’ll ever free myself of this.
And him.
Mostly him.
I DON’T TELL THEM WHERE I’m going because I don’t want to risk anyone following me.
Instead, I wake up at the crack of dawn and slide from Mex’s arms. He’s asleep, and as I look down over him, my heart aches at how perfect he is. With his lips slightly parted and his arm tucked up behind his head, he looks peaceful. I watch him as I dress, and then I glance at him once more before I slip out the door.
I need to see Death before I see Marek, and now is the only time I can do it.
Calling a cab, I make my way to my mother’s quarters where I know he will be. He has been keeping everything in check since she has been gone, and now I’m about to tell him that she’ll never return. It won’t go well, I know that, but I owe it to him. I certainly don’t owe it to her, though. She deserves to be exactly where she is, and while I know he would always take her side over mine, I also know that somewhere, deep down, he cares a little for me.
Reaching her office, I bang on the door.
A moment later, it opens and Death stands, wearing all black, staring down at me.
“I’ve been trying to contact you.”
Those are his first words.
“I know,” I say. “Death, I need to tell you something.”
His eyes darken, and I could almost swear that he knows even before I say a single word.