Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 109843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109843 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
“I’ve got about a hundred tiny little fucked-up things I have to deal with to get through the day with just enough of a cheerful veneer so my best friend doesn’t worry about me when I really spend most of my day alternating between joy, panic, and terror.” I squeezed my eyes shut because I suddenly felt like I was about to cry, and that just would not do. I was angry. And if I started crying, I couldn’t be certain that I’d be able to stop.
Once I felt like I had it under control, I opened my eyes again. Kip was still sitting there watching me, waiting for more. “And you know what?” I whispered. “I’m dealing, because I’ve got no other choice. It’s hard. It sucks. But I’ve got no other fucking choice. So woman the fuck up, Kip, and deal. You have no other goddamn choice.” I paused. “Well, actually you do. You can walk away. So either do that or deal. Those are your fucking choices.”
I was breathing heavily at this point, having dumped it all on him rather unexpectedly.
Kip might’ve said something. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to hear what he had to say, but I wasn’t storming off as planned either.
A knock at the door punctuated the silence.
It jerked me out of my stupor.
“I’m going to get that,” I said. “You…” I pursed my lips. Stared at Kip standing there, having taken everything I’d thrown at him and looking properly tortured and guilty by it all.
My anger fizzled out.
“I don’t care what you do,” I huffed, turning on my heel and storming out to get the door before I did something ridiculous like kiss him or forgive him or declare my undying love for him.
I figured the person at the door would likely be the UPS guy. We were great friends at this point. I even left a little table of snacks out for him because of how often he came to the house. My clothes no longer fit me, and I’d heaved a whole bunch of jeans, dresses, and tight things into a suitcase to make way for clothes that would accommodate my stomach, hips, and ass.
It couldn’t have been Tina, Tiffany, Calliope, or Nora. They all walked right in. Their visits had calmed somewhat since the sting of the accident had lessened a bit and I was given the all clear by the doctors.
But it was not the UPS guy.
“Oh my god!” Deidre exclaimed, pulling me into her arms.
I relaxed into the embrace because you didn’t fight it when Deidre hugged you and also because it felt… nice. I needed a hug from a motherly type figure right now.
“I’m so mad at you,” she snapped, holding me at arm’s length to inspect me. “But how can I be mad at you when you have such a beautiful bump and you’re positively glowing. Glowing!”
She cupped my cheeks and shook my head a little but… fondly.
“So mad,” she muttered, not sounding mad. Actually, her eyes were glassy, and she sounded like she was close to crying.
Emotion welled up inside me as I wondered what she might be feeling. Her only son didn’t tell her he got married—granted, the marriage was fake, but she didn’t know that—and now she’s going to be a grandmother, and he didn’t tell her that either.
I saw it then. The pain in her eyes that she hid so very well. Kip had lost a wife and a daughter. She’d lost a daughter and a granddaughter. Because I had no doubt that she welcomed his late wife into the family with the same warmth and love she had for me.
Her eyes widened in shock when she looked down. “Oh my god, what happened?” she asked in horror.
I glanced down at my cast, the wretched fucking thing. I still had three more weeks of it, and it already itched like a bitch and was a prick of a thing to take a shower with. Luckily the rest of my injuries had healed up nicely, so Deidre didn’t see the extent, and I could downplay the accident.
“My car had a… disagreement with another car,” I told her. “It’s nothing,” I tried to wave off her horrified look. “A little fender bender that left me with a new accessory. And she’s completely fine.” I gestured to my stomach.
Deidre stilled. “She?” Her voice was quiet, broken.
I smiled and reached out to squeeze her hand. “Yes, she. You’re having a granddaughter.”
Then her tears fell, and this time I pulled her into my arms.
“Mom?” Kip said from behind me. It was only a matter of time before he came to make sure I hadn’t fainted or been abducted by whomever was at the door.
I let Deidre go, and she sniffed, wiping her eyes delicately.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, body coming close to mine.