Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Thankfully, he laughed. “I didn’t do anything.”
No, he hadn’t. It was all on me. “When I look at Will, he was always strong in who he was in a way I never have been. He damn sure was going to be himself and be happy. I guess seeing the struggle, being unsure, was something I related to.” My stomach twisted uncomfortably, and I looked down at him. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Nope, I definitely didn’t, damn him. Danny gave my hand a squeeze, then kissed it. “Let’s go home, handsome.”
I nodded. He rolled away from me, and we got up. We packed up the blanket in the backpack, which Danny put on his back. Everyone around us was doing the same, many people already having left. I tossed the trash, and then Danny was there, walking close. He linked his index finger with mine. “I’m sure Will struggled too. There’s always stuff going on beneath the surface, even if we don’t show it to the world.”
“You can say that again.”
“I’m sure—”
“Shup up, smart-ass.” I took his hand tighter, threaded our fingers together as we walked. My brain tried to start spinning, but I turned it off, tuned it out, and just let myself have this with him. “I bet I’ll hit another home run tomorrow.”
“Okay, so someone’s getting cocky now. Are we going to start placing bets on games? Like, if you hit a home run, I have to do your laundry for a week, and if I do, you have to wash mine?”
“I don’t mind doing my own laundry. Let’s go with dish duty.”
“Deal. What if neither of us hits one?”
I shrugged, walking toward our apartment while holding Danny’s hand. I had no idea what it meant, and I didn’t have to. I just wanted to enjoy it. “Then I guess we continue on like we have been, taking turns or doing them together. That won’t happen, though. You’ll be stuck being the dishwasher.”
“It’s really not that hard. The machine does most of the work. We just have to rinse them off first—well, that, and wash the pans by hand.”
“The way you do them! I can’t handle that.”
“You wash them twice. Explain that to me. You seriously use a sponge and soap and then run them through the machine. So. Much. Work.”
“I got it from my mom.” My mind started to wander. “You know I never saw my dad do dishes? It was Mom’s responsibility. My brothers and I never did them either. My dad saw it as women’s work.”
“You didn’t have chores?”
“No, we did. We mowed the lawn, and took out the trash, and worked with Dad. That’s fucked, isn’t it?”
“It is.” He nudged me. “Have you talked to Brad or Nolan?”
“Some.” I’d been feeling like shit already about not telling him I went home. Sometimes I just did stuff like that, held it in for no good reason. What did I think would happen if I told him? “I, um…went to Mom’s the other day. We celebrate Dad’s birthday every year.”
I held my breath, but Danny didn’t ask me why I hadn’t told him, didn’t give me shit about it. He just asked, “How did it go?”
“Uncomfortably. Weird. I got into it a little with Brad and Nolan. Nothing too bad. They just…don’t seem to know how to talk to me anymore, and I don’t with them either. It’s like everything has changed between us, and I hate it. It feels like they look at me as gay-Jonathan now instead of just Jonathan.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. It also had to be strange because of your past with your dad.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “And then I feel like shit. He was my father, and despite it all, he used to be my favorite person. I wanted to be like him, and now just thinking about him makes my stomach twist. I remember all the things he didn’t approve of about me, things he would want me to hide.”
At this point, I was becoming less surprised with the things I said to Danny. They just tumbled from my lips.
“I think that’s understandable. It’s to be expected. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”
I nodded, not really wanting to talk about it. “They called right after, but I didn’t answer. Since then, there has been a text or two; we pretend nothing happened.” My family was good at that.
“Have you tried to call them?” Danny asked.
“Nah.” They were the ones who made things off.
“Okay.” I could tell by the tone of Danny’s voice that he didn’t agree with my decision. “Thank you for telling me.”
I gave his hand another squeeze. “That’s kinda what we do. It’s impossible not to be honest with you.” My stomach started twitching, and I felt hot all over. Jesus, was that too much? Did I sound stupid? I changed the subject. “Maybe I’ll hit two home runs tomorrow.”