Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104081 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
“When are you going to tell her?”
“Never.”
He sucked his teeth. “Don’t be an idiot.”
“She doesn’t want that,” I said. “She doesn’t want… me.” That made the knife twist deeper. “We’re just having fun, friends with benefits, no expectations.”
“Good God, why?” Will wrinkled his nose. “Don’t tell me that was your idea.”
“Hell no,” I said quickly. “I don’t know, it just kind of… happened. The first time we hooked up, she said it was a one-time-only thing. We didn’t even last two weeks before we hooked up again, and then she put these… I don’t know, these rules in place.”
Will was silent for so long that I turned to look at him, and found him slow blinking at me like I was stupid.
“What?”
“I’m just trying to figure out if you really are an idiot.”
“She doesn’t want anything more. She told me as much. She said she just wanted us to enjoy the time while we have it and then…”
I didn’t want to finish that sentence.
“And you didn’t fight her on it?”
“Of course not,” I said quickly.
“Dumbass.”
I leveled him with a glare. “What was I supposed to do? Tell her I didn’t care what she wanted, that I don’t respect her boundaries, and I want to be the one calling the shots?” I continued before he had the chance to answer. “She had her heart obliterated by a rich asshole athlete, and she lumps me into the same category.” I ground my teeth. “I saw it in her eyes when she told me she just wanted this little arrangement.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know, some pussy golfer.”
Will wrinkled his nose. “I bet I could beat him.”
“Your swing is weak, Daddy P,” I said, tilting my head to the side. “Me, on the other hand.”
He snorted. “So this guy fucked her up?”
My hands tightened into fists. “She thinks if we let it go too far, I’d break her heart just like he did.”
“Would you?”
I was silent at that, because the truth was that I didn’t know.
I couldn’t make her promises, not when I was only in my first season in the league with no fucking clue what came next. If my career took off, what would that look like for us? Would she follow me if I got traded to another team, another city?
Could I expect her to?
And even if they did extend my contract and I got to stay in Tampa, it wasn’t like she’d have this twenty-four-seven-access pass forever. The only reason I had so much time with her now was because her job called for it.
Would I be enough for her, if she only had me in-between practices and games? Would she put up with me traveling all the time?
Would she trust me?
And even if she did… would it ever be fair, to ask that of her, of anyone?
“I’ve never thought about any of this,” I admitted, shaking my head. “I assumed I’d never have to, at least not for a while. Hockey and partying and girls, that I can handle. But Maven…” I swallowed. “Fuck, I didn’t see her coming.”
A little laugh puffed out of William at that. “We never do.”
I tried to smile, but it fell short. And for a while, we sat there in silence, both of us in our own worlds.
“Look, I won’t lie to you. If she’s been hurt before, the road ahead of you will be bumpy at best, and a pothole-ridden shit show at worst,” he said. “But… if you’re serious about her, maybe you just need to give her time to see that, to see that you’re different, and that history doesn’t have to repeat itself.”
I nodded, hating how my chest lit up with hope at his suggestion. I thought of earlier that week in my condo, when I watched Maven smile and hum along to the music while she tended to the plants I’d bought her. She’d had her hair pulled back, a blue-jean bandana tied around the crown of her head, her lips nude and begging to be kissed.
The domestic nature of it had slammed into me so hard I could barely breathe until I laid her down and flexed inside her. I had to be connected, to feel that she was mine, even if just for that moment.
And that’s what it was — a moment.
I didn’t want to press her for more. I couldn’t.
She’d made the rules, and I was following them, because if I didn’t, I’d lose her even sooner than I already had to.
I cracked my neck. “Thanks, man,” I said, hopping off the bike. “But I think if this is all I can have with her, I’m just going to soak up every minute of it and not overanalyze the situation.”
“Sure,” he said, hopping off his bike, too. “Because you don’t seem like you’re worried at all.”
He leveled me with one last look before he left the gym.