Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
I unlock the door and step out, coming to a halt when I see him sitting on my bed with his hands on his knees and his head hanging down. “Hey,” I say softly, looking at him for the first time, seeing his face ravaged.
I take a step toward him but stop when his words come out almost broken. “I’m sorry,” he says, halting me again in my steps. “I didn’t know what to say when she asked me about him.”
Oh. My. God. “It’s her dad, and she needs to be proud of him until she’s old enough to know better. Until then, I can’t be the one to tell her the truth.” If I didn’t think I loved this man before this moment, then I would have fallen in love with him right now. Right here, in the middle of my brand-new bedroom that is practically ours since he has some of his clothes in the chair in the corner. Along with his razor on the side of his sink and a couple of suits in my closet.
“But if you want, when we talk about him, I’ll try to do it when you don’t have to hear it.”
“I would never do that,” I say, standing in front of him now, his hands coming to my hips and pulling me closer. “There is something I need to tell you.” I take a step back and out of his reach, knowing if he touches me, I’ll forget what I have to say. “And I know that it can be shocking, but I figured that this thing between us is getting a little serious.”
“You can say that, baby.” His voice is soft. “I don’t know what you call a little serious, but we’ll discuss that after you say what you have to say.”
I try not to get too wrapped up in what he’s saying and how he’s saying it. I also try to focus on the words I want to say. “When Benji died, I found out a lot of things,” I say nervously. “Things that were not easy to come to terms with.” I look at him but then look down at my fingers, wringing them. “Some things I knew before.” I can’t stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes, but it’s not because I’m angry about what I discovered. It’s because I’m not sure if he’ll look at me the same way after this. “Three weeks after he died,” I say and look at him, “there was a knock on the door. I opened it, and there was a man I had never seen before. I had no idea who he even was.” I take a deep breath. “He informed me that he was Benji’s friend.”
“His friend?” Christopher asks, his eyebrows pinched together.
“His friend,” I repeat. “But in reality, it was his drug dealer.” My hands shake when I see his eyes go big. “He was there to collect on his debt.”
Christopher shoots to his feet. “Excuse me?” His voice is thick with rage.
“It seemed that he fronted him with some stuff.” I hold up my hands and shake my head at the same time. “And now he wanted to be paid for said stuff.”
“What is his name?” His voice fills with venom, but I ignore it, continuing with the story.
“Benji owed him close to two hundred thousand dollars,” I whisper, “and now that debt was mine. Ours. Mine and the girls.”
“Dakota,” he growls through clenched teeth.
“So I called Eddie up when he left. I was a fucking mess and had no idea what to do. Obviously, I had money in the account, but I wasn’t going to go to the bank and ask them to give me two hundred thousand dollars in a bag.” He takes a step toward me, but I hold up my hand, shaking my head. “Eddie came over and tried to calm me down. Told me not to worry about it and he would take care of it. I didn’t know what he meant until I found out that Benji has always struggled with substance abuse.” I see more shock fill his face. “Started when he was sixteen. They got a ‘handle on it’”—I use air quotes with my fingers—“as Eddie said, when he was nineteen. I have no idea if he was ever not fucking high. It was also the day I let Eddie know I never wanted to see him again. He could see the girls, but for me, I would never sit down at a table with him again. I would never share the same space as him. Instead of helping me when he saw a problem, he pushed it under the rug. I could forgive a lot of things, and maybe in time, I’ll change my mind, but for now, I don’t want to talk to him. He calls every Sunday to talk to the kids, but that’s where it ends.” I tremble. “I paid off the debt. I wrote a check and told him that was all he was getting from me.” I put my hand in front of my mouth to stop the sob. “That is who I think of when I think of Benji.”