Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
We walk up to the hostess stand. “Two,” I say, and she smiles at us as she looks on her iPad before telling us to follow her. I put my hand on Koda’s lower back, making her walk ahead of me. The hostess places the menus on a table in the middle of the room, but my eyes go to a table in the corner.
“Can we have that one?” I point. “It’s quieter.”
She nods, and I walk over with her. Koda takes her jacket off before sitting down in the chair that backs to the room. I sit in the corner facing her, shrugging off my own jacket. Koda grabs the menu, avoiding looking at me. “So.” I lean back in my chair. “Are we going to get the weird stuff out of the way so it’s not awkward as fuck?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Even when she says the words, I know she’s lying.
“Okay, well then, I’ll start. I’ve called you”—I put my hands on the table, my index finger moving up and down—“every single day. But you know that.”
“I was—” She starts to come up with an excuse, but I hold up my hand to stop her.
“Then I texted you.”
“I answered you.” Her voice is strong, then goes lower. “Once.”
“Yup.” I nod. “Got it. One whole word. No.”
“Well, I didn’t need anything.” She puts her arms on the table, crossed in front of her. “So that was my answer.”
“Did you send me the picture of the first day of school because you wanted to?” Her eyes quickly look away from mine. “Or was it a mistake?”
“It was a mistake.” Wow, I thought for sure she would fight me on it. “I thought I sent it to Eddie.”
“Well, I must say”—I laugh—“totally thought you would bullshit me.”
“There is no reason to bullshit you, Christopher. There is also no reason for me to answer your phone calls or your texts.”
“And why is that?” I know I should tread lightly, but this is also three months of building for both of us.
“Because you were calling to see how we are. We are fine.” She doesn’t even give me a chance to say anything before she continues, “You were also texting to ask me, and again, we are fine. If Benji was alive, you wouldn’t be calling me.”
“True but—”
“There is no but, Christopher, it would be awkward, and I didn’t want to. That should be enough.”
“I guess it will have to be for now,” I say before the server comes over to interrupt us. I look down and order a burger while she orders the fish and chips with a side of onion rings and mac and cheese.
When the server leaves, I look back at her. “Rain wants to go skating more.” She looks at me, grabbing the glass of water in front of her. “Can I take her?”
“Christopher,” she says my name, putting the glass of water down.
“If you are going to hand me the ‘you don’t need to’ bullshit, I’m going to start getting really pissed,” I snap, and her eyes go big. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” I look down, and my leg shakes under the table. I was supposed to come in calm and cool and show her all I want to do is help, but instead, I just snapped at her.
“See?” She points at me. “This right there, the feeling sorry for me, is why I didn’t answer your phone calls.”
“Feeling sorry for you?” I repeat the words, not sure if she actually said them. Maybe I misunderstood.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” I tell her. “I feel a lot of things about the situation, but I don’t feel sorry for you.” She opens her mouth and then closes it. “I’m just doing what I hope someone would do for me if the roles were reversed.” I move back when the drinks come and she just looks down and then up again.
“You can take her skating,” she murmurs.
“Thank you,” I say as the food comes. “I can even take Luna.”
“Are you sure that won’t be too much?” she asks as she takes a french fry and dunks it into ketchup.
“I think I’ll be okay,” I finally reply. “You can come if you want, or stay home and relax. Read a book, watch TV.” She laughs again. “How was back to school for the kids?” I try to leave the conversation on neutral ground.
“The kids were happy to be back with their friends,” she shares, telling me stories that happened to the girls during the week. The conversation is light and not forced. It feels weird to be sitting alone with her in a bar, the two of us, but I guess this is our new normal.
I pay the bill when she gets up to wash her hands, and when we walk out, I have to admit it’s been a great night.