Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95393 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
“Fine, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I love you, Christopher,” he says, the tears starting over again, “like you’re my son.” He doesn’t have to say it. None of them have to say it because we know. “And I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Uncle Viktor.” My voice is a whisper. “Give Auntie Zoe a kiss for me.”
“Will do,” he assures me, and I hang up the phone, placing it on my stomach. I lie here, looking up at the ceiling as the room gets darker. Only when it’s pitch black does my phone beep on my stomach.
Picking it up, I see it’s a text from Koda. My hand fumbles to unlock it, hoping she’s about to give me something, anything. But there in the middle of the screen is her answer, and just like that I’m cut off at the knees again. One word and one word only.
Koda: No.
CHAPTER SIX
dakota
One month later
“Okay, my girls,” I announce once I walk into the kitchen, tucking my white cotton button-down shirt into my light beige cargo pants, “are we ready for school?” I clap my hands as the girls finish their breakfast. “First day of school.” I shoot up my hand, wiggling my fingers like jazz hands.
“Are you done?” I ask Luna, who puts the last piece of strawberry in her mouth and nods at me. “Go brush your teeth.”
“Okay, Momma,” she agrees, sliding off the stool she was on and skipping over to the downstairs bathroom, where they both have extra toothbrushes for after breakfast time.
“What about you?” I look over at Rain. “You done with yours?”
“Yeah,” she says softly, pushing her plate with three strawberries toward me. “I’m going to go brush my teeth.”
“Okay.” I put the plates in the sink to deal with after drop-off. Luna comes back, skipping the whole time, a smile on her beautiful face.
I squat down in front of her. “You know how pretty you are?” I ask, and she shrugs with shyness. I kiss her nose before Rain comes back in. Her accordion uniform skirt sways left and right as she tucks in her white polo shirt.
“Ready?” I ask as she slides her white-socked feet into her blue Mary Jane shoes.
“Ready, Freddy,” Luna chirps before walking to the front door, where I usher the kids out of the house. Grabbing each of them, I slide their backpacks onto their shoulders, and Rain picks up her lunchbox.
We walk down the steps toward the white Range Rover. “Oh, girls,” I say, stopping as I’m opening the back door of the SUV, “we need to send Grandpa a picture of the three of us.”
I squat down between them and smile at the camera. “Say hip, hip hooray for school.” I extend my arm in front of me and snap a picture of the three of us smiling. I was very good with my makeup today; you can barely see the black circles under my eyes from sleeping three to five hours a night.
I open my text and hurriedly text Eddie before I get Luna in the car, helping her buckle her seat belt, while Rain does hers. “It’s going to be a good day.” I slam the back door closed and then open the driver’s side door.
The kids and I listen to music on the way to drop off Rain first. Driving is the time I kind of hate the most because I let my mind wander. It’s been almost three months since Benji died. Our new normal has been a learning curve for all of us. After I packed away his clothes and had Eddie take them out, I thought it would be easier, but it’s been harder than ever. I sometimes find Rain crying and saying she misses her dad. Luna is a little less often because I don’t think she gets the full picture.
I pull into the parking lot, seeing a couple of familiar faces from last year. I also see a couple of the wives huddled together, talking and laughing. I get out of the SUV, opening the back door to let Luna out before helping Rain get down.
“Have everything?” I ask, looking down at her. I avoid looking up because I can feel that all eyes are on us. I know people are watching, wondering how we are doing. Wondering if we are coping. Wondering how the fuck I’m going to do it. Or maybe it’s all in my head, and my paranoia is cutting in.
I hold the girls’ hands as we walk into the schoolyard. “Are we going to have the best day?” I ask them, and they both nod at me. I finally look up at everyone and see a couple of people quickly look away, afraid of getting caught staring at us, while a couple of the wives hold their hands up and wave.