Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
My eyes flash and I hiss, “Get off me, Chantelle, your little fuckin’ speeches won’t work.”
I go to move her off, but she hisses in pain.
“Well fuckin’ played,” I growl. “You know I won’t hurt you.”
“Exactly,” she says, hands still tangled in my hair. “Which means I’m here, on your lap, tugging at your hair, until you decide to talk to me, or listen, or something other than this.”
“Nothin’ to say.”
“There’s plenty to say.”
“I killed someone,” I snarl, staring into her eyes, but she doesn’t flinch. Not a single fuckin’ flinch. “I beat him until the life was sucked from his fuckin’ body.”
Still nothing.
Nothing at all.
“Yes, yes you did,” she says, her voice strong, and unwavering. “And that’s sucky, Boston. I’m not going to lie. You didn’t have to take it that far. But you did. And it’s done. And Penny is alive because of you.”
I flinch.
“She fuckin’ can’t stand me.”
“Then she is weak,” she shrugs. “Because one mistake does not make a person a monster.”
“I’m the reason Nerissa is dead too, or have you fuckin’ forgotten that?”
“Snap out of it,” she snarls, jerking my hair so hard pain shoots through my scalp. “Just snap the fucking hell out of it. You’re not the reason Nerissa is dead, and you damned well know it. And regardless, that has absolutely fucking nothing to do with this. Nothing at all. So, stop wallowing in the past, and pull your shit together.”
Fuck.
“Are you done?” I snap my teeth at her, getting frustrated.
“Nope,” she says casually. “Not even close. Now, you did a shitty thing. You probably didn’t have to kill him, but you did. And it’s done. And it cannot be undone. You can either choose to carry on about it, or you can put one foot in front of the other, and move on.”
“I fuckin’ murdered him, in cold blood,” I snarl.
She nods. “Yep, you did. Are you telling me that the other club members have never done something like that in their time?”
I say nothing. Because of course they have. We’ve all been in situations where the outcome was less than fuckin’ spectacular.
“Exactly,” she continues, when I have no answer. “So, let’s move on from the fact that you took a life, and look at the real problem. You failed someone. That’s what this is about.”
I flinch.
Fuck her.
“Fuck you,” I spit.
She holds my eyes, unwavering. “Maybe later. Now, as I was saying, you failed someone. That someone being Penny. The reason this is hitting you so hard, is because you’ve let failure become a big part of who you are after Nerissa. You failed Maverick, or so you believe, because she got killed. And now, you failed Penny, or so you think, because you killed her ex-husband and now she doesn’t want to look at you.”
Those words hurt, and anger bubbles in my chest. I clutch her hips, wanting to throw her off, more than fuckin’ anything, but bein’ unable to do that, because regardless of anything, I’d never fuckin’ hurt this girl.
“You need to get off me,” I rasp, my body trembling.
“No, you need to listen. For once in your fucking life, you need to listen. You’re only getting angry, because I’m right. I’ve hit you right where it burns, Boston, and that’s okay. Whatever it takes to get you to see that you’re not wrong here, I’ll do.”
“Get off me,” I bark.
“No.”
“Fuck, Chantelle,” I roar.
She tugs my head so hard a wince rips from my throat. “Now you listen to me, and listen good. You are not the reason that Nerissa is dead. She wanted out. She made a choice. She knocked you out to get away. She is her own worst enemy. And you are not the reason Penelope is sinking right now. She is that reason. She couldn’t handle what she saw. She couldn’t handle the part of you that all of you bikers have. She couldn’t take the world you’re in. That is not on you. You took it too far, yes, and you need to forgive yourself for that. Because, Boston, not one other woman in that fucking club would have flinched if her man did the same. She might not have liked it, but she would have accepted it. Because she accepts them, as they are, and the life they lead. Penny does not accept that. That is not on you.”
I jerk my head angrily out of her grips and hiss, “I don’t want to hear anymore.”
“Well you’re going to!” she yells, losing her shit and shoving my chest. “Because I’m not going to watch you sink, and your club sure as shit doesn’t want to see you going down that fucking rabbit hole again. So, we’re going to talk about it!”
“Fuck off.”
She rears her hand back and slaps me so hard my head swings to the side. A feral hiss leaves my throat and I grab her hand when it swings again, gripping her wrist tightly. I shake her with it, just a little, not enough to hurt her.