Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I see stars behind my eyelids and feel utterly foolish for the long moan of need that escapes from me. This man who abandoned me should mean nothing to me, yet it’s like all the hurt he’s caused is forgotten.
Forgotten because his kiss is like magic, and I remember very well all the delicious things he did to me when we were together. I want it too badly to push him away, and it shames me.
“God, you taste good,” Marek mutters against my lips, then drops his forehead to mine. My heart swells over his admission, but then he pulls back slightly and his eyes pierce right through me. “But I can also still taste the deceit on your tongue.”
“Marek…don’t,” I start to beseech him, moving my hands up to his face. My attempt to touch him results in him flinching and taking a step back.
“I’m sorry, Gracen,” he says, his voice so low and rough with confusion. “I want to forgive you. And I’m trying. But I’m so fucking angry all the time and I—”
Something inside of me cracks. Yes, I still love this man, and because he’s Lilly’s father, I always will. But I’m done.
“I’m only going to say this once more, Marek,” I tell him in a soft voice that I hope he can hear is still tinged with compassion for what he must be feeling. “I’m sorry. I made a mistake in not telling you about Lilly.”
Marek’s lips flatten to a grim line and his eyes go frosty. A tiny muscle twitches in his jaw.
“With my entire heart, I’m sorry. Even though you left me behind, I should have told you. It was cruel and selfish, and I can’t ever make those years you lost right. So I’m sorry.”
His expression remains hard, but at least he’s still listening to me.
“But I’m done,” I continue as I straighten fully. “I’m done apologizing to you. You won’t hear it again from me, so don’t expect it. Figure a way to move past this so we can be good parents for Lilly. That’s what’s most important.”
He stares at me a moment before giving me a curt nod. I give him one in return before I step toward the staircase, but not before I tell him one last thing.
“I had a job interview this morning at the hospital,” I tell him softly. “My references checked out and they called to offer me the job this afternoon. I know it’s because Josie put in a personal word for me but…well, I’m starting in two days.”
“Congratulations,” he says flatly.
“I’m going to look for a place for Lilly and me.” It was something I had considered, but didn’t decide for sure until he pulled away from that amazing kiss to tell me how much I disgusted him.
This is for the best.
I know Josie’s idea for me to stay here rent free was a good one and would be the most beneficial way for me to get my parents out of trouble with the bank, but I can’t do this. I can’t have Marek dangling himself in front of me like a carrot. Not when my heart is still so tied up with him. It took me a long time to move past the pain of him leaving me, and I don’t want to get hurt again. It might not be the most economic decision, but I do have a little money in savings. Enough to put down first and last month’s rent on a place for sure.
By taking the job that was offered, I drew my line in the sand with Owen, because that was my way of confirming to myself I wasn’t going back. I’d have to figure out some way to help my parents, but that was fine.
And by moving out of this house, I’m also drawing my line in the sand with Marek.
“You don’t have to do that,” he says, a vague softening of his expression perhaps to entice me.
I shake my head. “Yeah. I do. But you can see Lilly whenever you want. You have a lot of time to make up for.”
Turning for the staircase, I brace myself for anything else he might have to say. His words too often have too much power over me.
But he remains silent as I trot lightly up the stairs and shut myself in my bedroom after checking on Lilly.
My heartbeat has returned to normal. It had been going as fast as hummingbird wings when Marek kissed me, but now it feels steady and calm.
This is good for what I need to do.
I crawl onto the bed and settle myself against the pillows, my feet planted on the mattress. I hold my phone up and flip through my contacts. Taking a deep breath, I press Owen’s name and wait for him to answer.