Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 53764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 269(@200wpm)___ 215(@250wpm)___ 179(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 53764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 269(@200wpm)___ 215(@250wpm)___ 179(@300wpm)
It didn't escape his notice that in all his thirty-two years, he'd never wanted another woman living in his home. He'd never wanted anyone to get close to him. Since he'd been a teenager, growing up in his grandfather's home, with his grandfather's name and money, he'd been a mark for grasping women. He'd lost his virginity at fifteen--to a woman fifteen years his senior who had walked into his bedroom on a night his grandfather had been hosting a party. She'd been beautiful and worldly and he'd fallen under her spell that night--for a few hours.
He'd found out later that she hadn't come alone to the party--she'd left her escort downstairs when she'd wandered off to find him. The experience had left a sour taste in his mouth--made him feel naive and stupid, but it had taught him a lesson. Sex was sex. It was a bodily function--a need that had to be quenched. The women he'd dated in college had been grasping as well--every one of them out for the money. He'd made the mistake once, in his senior year, of thinking someone wanted him--just for him. But then he'd overheard a conversation that had hardened his heart forever. It was the same old song and dance again. Rich boy--grasping woman. And since then, he'd never let anyone come even remotely close to changing his mind. He'd learned a long time ago never to let a woman get close to him.
He wasn't proud to say that he'd walked on the dark side when it came to his sex life since then. He'd done things that, if he let himself think about them, he'd be ashamed of. But he'd learned a long time ago, not to think of sex when it was over. He always tried to find partners who were as--hungry--as he was. Nothing was off-limits to him--except for other men. He'd even been so disillusioned from the cheating he'd seen all around him that even matrimony wasn't an institution he respected anymore. He only allowed himself to go after experienced women; women who knew the score and were happy to play the game--in fact--were usually the ones who instigated the game.
He didn't have girlfriends; he had sexual partners, and sometimes, more than one. There had been women in the past, women like Tanya, who had wanted to label themselves as his girlfriend, even though he'd told them bluntly at the beginning what his requirements were.
He'd never thought of any of them as his. Not Tanya, not any of them. He'd never had a woman of his own. How could Tanya have thought for even half a second that if she'd belonged to him, that he would share her? Soon after they'd met, she'd taken him to a party that had managed to shock him--cold and cynical as he was. It had become obvious to him immediately that the event was an excuse to switch sexual partners. He'd known right away what his choices were. He could leave--or he could stay and go with the flow. If he stayed his heart would become even blacker. But by that time, he'd already damned himself in his own mind and he couldn't come up with a compelling reason to leave. He cared nothing for Tanya, and after that night and all the nights like that since then, saw her and the myriad of women he'd slept with, as nothing more than sexual relief.
He'd always protected himself against pregnancy and disease as well as he could. He used a condom religiously. He had regular blood work done--had himself tested several times a year. In fact, he'd just gotten a clean bill of health in the last few weeks.
And now Natalie had entered his life and he was feeling things for her that he'd never thought possible. Had he ever wanted a woman this badly? He couldn't remember a time in his life when he'd ever wanted anything as much. It was taking over his brain, infiltrating every waking moment of his life. Having her in his house and not being able to touch her--God.
Natalie began to tremble in earnest; his hand delved into her hair while his arm snaked around her waist and pulled her up and into his torso. He heard the air leave her lungs and her breathing stagger as she stood in the radius of his arms. He lowered his head and his lips came to the corner of her mouth. "You're trembling."
"No--No, I'm not." She reached up and grabbed hold of his biceps, as if needing something solid to hold onto.
"Oh, baby, you are. Do I make you tremble?" At her silence, he moved his lips to hers and kissed her gently. "Are you ready now? I'm going to kiss you." Just as he said it, he tugged her lower lip between his teeth and she let out a tiny, uncontrollable moan.