Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
His mouth dropped open. “Alex…what are you sayi—”
“Figure it out!” I made an exasperated sound, and before Remy could respond, I pointed a finger at Bailey, my pulse going crazy, my emotions in overdrive. “But sometimes faith isn’t enough. Your hope has made you blind to the truth. Our parents are flawed human beings, and deep down, you know that about your dad. So it’s time you come to some sort of reckoning with him.”
Fucking hell. I was trembling as I turned toward the door, refusing to look at Remy because I might just crumble.
“I’m tired of being the referee for the Duval brothers. I need a long fucking break.” I glanced at Bailey. “Find your own ride back to campus.”
I stormed out of the house, got in my car, and just drove, not knowing where I was going or how long it would take to get my head straight. I was a jumble of emotions ranging from sad to pissed. Turned out, I was right about the other shoe, but who knew I’d be the one to drop it? Go me, I guess.
25
Remy
I climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling until my eyes blurred. To say I was stunned that it’d all come to a head with Bailey was an understatement. I’d wished it would finally happen, that we would have it out in a more productive way. Not that what happened was productive. I’d let my emotions get the best of me and hurt Bailey in the process. Or maybe it was the truth that had hurt him. I was only the messenger. Still, I could’ve been more gentle and less blunt.
But hadn’t I done that all along?
And never had I imagined our argument would involve Alex or that he would tell us he’d had enough of both of us. And though I understood his disappointment a little too well, it’d gutted me.
Because I’d never have enough of him, I realized.
“Damn it, Remy. I know you’re skeptical about that stuff. Skeptical that someone can love you and want a relationship with you and have it last. But what if it can? What if you’ll never know unless you take a chance on someone?”
Had he really said that? And when his hand went to his heart, was he implying that he…that I…that we…
“Figure it out!”
I buried my face in my pillow, my heart aching with longing. Had I ruined this thing with Alex? Had I let him see too much of me, too much of the rawer, rougher side of me, especially when it came to my brother? I supposed this was always going to end, but if it did, I hadn’t wanted it to be like this.
After Alex left, Bailey refused to look at me, his face all crumpled and sad, so I fled his room like a dog with his tail between his legs, feeling even guiltier than I had before. I’d done that to him by unleashing my frustration.
Goddamn it! Was I supposed to shield Bailey for the rest of his life? Now that he knew, I didn’t feel any better. He’d probably hate me more, but maybe he’d finally see the reality of the situation. That our parents never had a dream marriage. And that was okay. We’d still survived.
After Mom got home and I filled her in about the argument, I could see the worry in her eyes. “He needs to keep being mad at you so he doesn’t fall apart,” she’d said at the last swim meet, and considering he stayed locked in his room the entire afternoon, that might’ve been exactly what he was doing.
When the dinner hour came and we’d heated up turkey leftovers, I expected Bailey to head out the door to see Dad, but he didn’t. I kept my distance in the hallway as Mom padded to his room to check on him.
“I’m not going,” Bailey said.
I inched closer to hear Mom’s gentle voice. “Why not?”
“I just…need time.”
My stomach churned. Bailey had never—and I mean never—passed up an opportunity to spend time with Dad.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting. I know this has been tough for you to accept.”
“I’ve always hated that he was so busy, and lately, he’s been breaking more promises,” Bailey said, and I inhaled a shaky breath. He’d never admitted something like that before. “I feel stupid that I actually believed he’d show yesterday.”
“I know.” Mom sighed. “Most divorced couples split time with their kids. If Dad wants to make a life with someone else, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Maybe it just means other arrangements are going to have to be made, and you’ll need to be more assertive about what you need from him.”
“Why didn’t he want to keep this life with us?” he asked in this small voice, and my heart clenched. Jesus Christ.