Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
19
Remy
The campus was virtually empty, which was probably a good thing because I still wasn’t ready to let him go. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Being inside Alex had been amazing, maybe even perfect, and I didn’t know what to do with that, with any of this, so I just went with my instincts, something I’d been doing all along where he was concerned.
“Wanna see if the taco stand on the pier is still open?”
Alex glanced over his shoulder warily. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“We’ve been seen by enough people by now to make it obvious we’re friends.”
The LGBTQ club certainly did, which included one of his teammates. I wasn’t sure if they saw us on the dance floor, but our closeness hadn’t been any worse than the down and dirty contact they’d been making all night. When we’d left, Jordan and Steve had been suspiciously absent, so maybe they’d decided to leave as well.
“Friends with benefits?” Alex teased as we continued walking toward the shore. My skin prickled, remembering what had just taken place in my room. Him with his swim briefs, me with his jacket. Holy hot damn. “But yeah, true.”
“What was Bailey up to tonight?” I asked, wondering if he’d be waiting up for his friend. No doubt Alex told him of his plans, clearly leaving out the part where he invited me.
“I think Danica’s over.” He gave me a knowing look. “I told him I’d text when I was on my way home.”
“See? All cool.” I nudged his shoulder with mine. “So, taco stand?”
He smirked. “How could I refuse food?”
We got our food just before the stand shuttered its window for the night. We inhaled our tacos in about five minutes flat, leaning against a nearby table.
“Wanna walk along the beach?” I asked as we threw away our napkins and wrappers. “It’s okay if you’re too tired.”
“Actually, a walk on the beach sounds nice.”
We followed a pathway below the pier, where we removed our shoes and padded onto the cooling sand. It felt perfect between my toes, and the way Alex breathed out, I was going to guess he thought the same. The tide was rolling in, so we skirted by the rising levels, walking a zigzag pattern along the shore.
“It’s perfect.” Alex’s gaze was fixed on the dark water, lighter in the path of the quarter moon. “I don’t appreciate this enough.”
“I hear you.” He was right. We took for granted where we lived. And being here with Alex felt calming and easy, outside of the times his smile made my stomach flutter. I’d blame it on this stupid crush that had transformed into something more intense the more time I spent with him. That was unexpected and a bit overwhelming, given that I’d predicted us to have gotten our fill by now.
Come to think of it, it was the same for us as kids, albeit in a different way. We’d spend hours making up dumb games and laughing our heads off about stupid shit. Bailey was wrapped up in all those memories, and it only made the stitch of nostalgia intensify in my chest. In high school, we’d all drifted apart because our interests turned vastly different. And then the worst happened before college.
“I should swim in the ocean more often,” Alex said, dipping his toes in the tide.
“What do you think it is…about the water? Just curious.”
“Mom says I’ve always been drawn to it, maybe because it’s soothing. Obviously, I’m talking about the pool. The ocean is unpredictable, and that’s pretty fascinating too.” He threw a brief glance my way. “But when I’m competing, there’s this serenity, like all the chaos in my head stills, and it’s only me and the water. A carved-out place that’s just my own. Okay, that sounds dumb.”
“Not at all. It’s how I feel when I get lost in my canvas.”
We shared a smile before finding a place to sit side by side on the sand. We listened to the waves rolling in, the moon painting a glowing backdrop on the water. The warmth of Alex’s skin as our arms brushed in the comfortable silence was bewitching. Like I was being lulled under a spell. It made me want to burn this night into my memory so I could paint it someday. Paint how I was feeling in the moment, my emotions raw, my chest achy for reasons I couldn’t easily unpack.
“Did you always know you were gay?” I asked as I picked up a stick and drew circles in the sand. Suddenly I wanted to know all the stuff about Alex I’d missed out on. When his eyebrows lifted, I wondered if it was too personal. “You don’t have to—”
“No, it’s okay,” he replied, his brown eyes turning an almost iridescent whiskey hue in the moonlight. “I didn’t recognize it at first, of course. My attraction to guys. And when I finally did, I was still too shy to do anything about it.” He nudged me. “Wish I’d had your confidence.”