Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Tyler chuckled. “Well, that’s because you’re a good friend.” He nudged me with his shoulder, sighing with a grin and his eyes back on the mountains. “What a wild night. I was up most of it fighting with Clarissa, though, if I remember right.”
I shoved my finger in my mouth and pretended to gag, which made Tyler smile.
“She was such a brat,” I added, shaking my head at the memory of her. “Always carried that Louis Vuitton purse, even in gym class. And she was absolutely horrid to her friends. I remember overhearing her telling Olivia in the girls’ bathroom at school that if she didn’t get her acne under control, she wouldn’t be allowed to sit with Clarissa at lunch anymore.”
Tyler let out a long exhale. “Yeah, she wasn’t the best.” He paused. “But fuck did she have some nice tits.”
“Pig,” I spat, smacking his arm to the tune of his laughter.
“To be fair, you hated everyone I dated.”
“I did not,” I defended, but already felt my gut shrinking at the truth of it.
“Name one person you actually liked.”
I pulled my mouth to the side, Tyler smiling bigger and bigger the more time that passed without an answer.
“Well, our high school was full of idiots. And I didn’t think any of them were good enough for you.”
Tyler fell quiet at that, and I flushed so hard I wished my hair was still down in curls that I could cover my face with instead of tied back in a ponytail.
“I can relate,” he finally said, but it was quiet, and with that admission, the rest of the evening seemed to quiet around us, too. The birds softened their chirps, the breeze pulled back so as not to rustle the trees, and I glanced at Tyler, who was looking at me, too.
I could blame it on the endorphins I’d just released with our run. I could blame it on the way the sun hit his face as it set behind the mountains. I could blame it on the night before, on the past few days since I’d arrived, on the off chance that maybe the whiskey from last night was still hanging around in my system.
I could blame it on a lot of things, why I said what I said next, but none of it would matter.
All that mattered was that I locked eyes with Tyler Wagner, and I asked him the question that had kept me awake for seven long years.
“Why did you ignore me the day after my mom left?”
All the color drained from Tyler’s face, and for the longest time, he just stared at me, unblinking. Then, he blew out a long breath, shaking his head and tearing his gaze from me. “Don’t do this, Jaz.”
“I deserve to know.”
He sighed, his eyes falling to his sneakers, and I felt a mixture of anger and betrayal bubbling up inside me like a volcano. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be out here, laughing and reminiscing with Tyler Wagner. Suddenly, I remembered all too well the way it felt to have his hands on me, and then to have him avoid me, and finally, to have him reject me.
“Why?” I asked again, angling my body toward him. “Why did you avoid me, and then tell me that it was a mistake, that you didn’t mean to…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, and emotion bubbled up even more. I had no control over any of it, and I hated when my eyes glossed over, though I refused to let a single tear fall. “And why did you do this? Why did you spend the day with me yesterday, and take me here today, and why are we suddenly talking after all these years? We’re all buddy-buddy, reminiscing, pretending like…” I huffed. “And last night…” I swallowed, my throat thick, tongue heavy. “Last night, you… you…”
Held me? Touched my face the way you did all those years ago? Leaned in like you wanted to kiss me, like you wanted to breathe me in?
Told me I was spectacular?
Tyler stood before I could decide what to say, letting out a frustrated sigh. “We just called a truce. We’re finally talking after all these years. Why is that not enough for you?”
I stood just as quickly. “Because I deserve to know. I deserve to know why you would bring me here, why you keep finding your way to wherever I am in that giant house where you could easily avoid me, why you—”
“Because I miss you!”
My mouth was still open, mid-argue, and it hung that way as Tyler turned on me with his chest heaving and a feral look in his eyes that I’d never seen in anyone before.
“Okay?” he added, with his arms outstretched. “Because I miss you. Because I have missed you, ever since the day you left. Because it kills me to be around you and not touch you, laugh with you, to not be engulfed with everything that you are.”