Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115288 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115288 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
They both put their arms around me and give me an affectionate squeeze. The maternal, warm kind I’ve missed so much over the past decade and a half. Grandma Spark is an amazing woman, but she wasn’t a big hugger.
It turns out that both Gavin’s mom and his mother-in-law are big on the squeezes.
There have been some significant changes over the past month when it comes to mine and Karen’s relationship. She called me the day after Gavin and I got back together and asked if we could go for coffee.
I warily said yes. If I wanted things to work between Gavin and me, I needed to come to terms with the fact that Karen was always going to be a part of Peyton’s life, and if things went the way I hoped they would with Gavin—mine as well. And that meant finding a way to have a relationship that wasn’t full of strain and animosity.
The apology was exactly what I needed, and it seemed, so did she.
We cried together, and in the end it felt cathartic and gave us the fresh start we needed.
In the weeks following that talk, I reached out and asked Karen and Judith for their help in putting together a special gift for Peyton. I wanted Karen to understand that I wasn’t planning to take her daughter’s place, and that more than anything I wanted to celebrate Marcie on Peyton’s birthday as much as I wanted to celebrate Peyton herself. More than either of those things, I wanted to give permission to Gavin to talk about Marcie freely, to grieve her loss and embrace her memory and share his love for her with his daughter, and with me. I wanted to normalize discussions about Marcie in the same way my sisters and I embrace the memory of our parents. The love we share outweighs the pain some of the memories bring, and we deal with that as a best we can and keep moving forward.
Karen pulls a tissue from her pocket and dabs at her eyes. “It’s always such an emotional day for me.”
“You don’t have to hold it together on our account. It’s okay to be as sad as you are happy,” I tell her gently. It’s a challenging day, because the day she gained her granddaughter, she also lost her daughter.
“I don’t want Peyton to ever see her birthday as anything but a celebration,” she says honestly.
“It’s a delicate balance. And eventually, when Peyton is old enough, she’ll understand how wonderful and difficult this day truly is. But for now we can protect her from that sadness by celebrating Marcie’s life and how important she will always be to all of you.”
Karen nods and tucks the tissue into her pocket. “You’re right. We’re so lucky to have you in our lives, always looking at the bright side of things.”
“Behind every cloud is a ray of sunshine looking for a place to peek through.”
Avery pops into the dining room, where the party is taking place this afternoon. “I thought I’d find you all in here.” She waddles into the room, her belly round with the promise of new life. She’s due in a few weeks and ready to have her body back and to meet the new addition to her family. “This looks amazing. It feels like we’re in a magical wonderland.”
“I think Peyton is going to love it,” I agree. The room is decorated in a Tinker Bell theme, with green and gold balloons forming an archway. “I went a little overboard with the color scheme.”
“It’s perfect. The cake was just delivered to the kitchen, and we’re all set up for guests to arrive.”
“Which should be in just a few minutes.” I check my phone as it pings with a message from Gavin. “They’re half an hour away, and Peyton keeps trying to convince him to stop for ice cream every five minutes. Apparently there’s a lot of pouting.” A picture of a pouting Peyton follows.
I laugh and fire back a message to let him know that all the pouting will be worth it, and we don’t want to spoil her appetite before the party, but there’s a treat for her in the center console. A few minutes later I get another message in the form of a photo with a smiling Peyton, eating a cake pop. Less filling than ice cream and one of her favorite treats.
Guests start arriving a few minutes later, and we usher everyone into the dining hall. Construction has already begun on the daycare, and normally they’d be working on it right now, but I asked that they take a few hours off this afternoon so we could host the party without the sound of machines driving around in the background.
Peyton’s friends from school and some of the parents we’ve grown friendly with are here, as well as her aunt, uncle, and younger cousins. We all gather in the party room and wait for Gavin to arrive with Peyton. She comes bounding down the hall, shouting my name, asking where I’m hiding. “Are you sure she’s here? I didn’t see her car out front.”