Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80507 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80507 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 268(@300wpm)
“No more shame between us.”
She thought about it for a second. “I decided that day I was going to leave him. That I couldn’t stay with him just because I didn’t want to break up Naz’s family. This last week has opened my eyes to so much I didn’t see. Naz knew what his father had turned into, and it makes me feel like a horrible mother. How could I not protect our boy?”
“Loyalty is a powerful emotion, Red.”
“I was so blinded by my anger with Tristian blowing me off once I confronted him. He didn’t care about what I saw, what I felt; I didn’t know the man that was screaming at me. And I hadn’t for the last year.”
“What happened that night you went to your father’s house?”
Her eyes went wide again, almost like she was reliving it all over again. “He was drunk. He was upset I had dumped out all his liquor. Before I knew what was happening, there was a gun in his hand and over my heart.”
My head jerked back. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him. Part of me wanted to bring him back to life just to kill him again.
“Eden, you should have told me.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I’d betrayed him, and I thought I deserved it. I wanted to tell you about Naz. I swear it. I was going to tell you after I left Tristian, but you ended up taking care of it. When I told him the truth about Naz, he lost it and attacked me. He left me on the floor in this office, beaten, scared… I never imagined that he wouldn’t ever come home again.”
“This was never his home. You were never his home. Neither was our son.”
“Our son. You say that so easily? You’re not upset with me?”
I shook my head. “No. I could have said something to you, but I once again chose my brother as the better man for you. I was wrong. If I could go back to that night I claimed you, I would have never left you. Please tell me you know that?”
“I do now.”
“From the first time I laid my eyes on our son, I knew he was mine. The way he looked at me, the way he smiled. The dimple. I expected Tristian to confront me about it, but he never did.” I cupped her face with my hands. “This life, it takes pieces of your soul away, and if you’re not careful, you turn into someone you don’t recognize anymore. Tristian wasn’t meant for this life, and as much as I’m loathe to admit it, that’s the reason I thought he was better. I imagined myself coming home to you only to have you resent everything I did and all the reasons I did it.”
She glared at me through her tears. “That wasn’t your call to make.”
God, she was pretty. “I know that now.”
“I still hate you.” Her words held no punch. If anything, I almost took it as a compliment and, for some reason, found myself smiling as she locked eyes with me.
“I know.”
“And I may have prayed your perfect hair would fall out or that you’d age horribly so that when I saw you again, my heart wouldn’t skip in my chest, but I think even if all those things had happened, I would have still been drawn to you when I knew I shouldn’t have been.”
I tilted her chin toward me, joking, “I hate you too.” Trying to lighten up the mood.
It was heavy.
I didn’t want to see her tears any longer.
Be the reason she was sad.
Upset.
Heartbroken.
I wanted to be the man she deserved.
The father Naz needed.
I yearned to be with him.
My loves.
My whole world.
My family.
She smiled. “I know.”
“I’m sorry for everything, Red.”
She looked down, then reached for my hands. I questioned if she saw blood there like I did despite the millions of times I’d cleaned them.
Did she see the souls I’d taken?
Did she know these very hands strangled the life out of the man that was out to kill her?
Did it matter?
It did.
It always did.
Because it was Eden.
And everything she thought mattered.
Slowly, she lifted my hands to her face, cupping her cheeks as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I missed this.”
“Can I ask you something?”
She tilted her head. “Maybe…”
“Did I hurt you? That night?”
“What night?”
“When I ruined both of our lives and tried to push you out of my heart, my soul. Did I hurt you?” I searched her eyes for any hint of emotion. Hating myself that I didn’t know at the time that I had selfishly fucked her, knowing I was losing her. I didn’t think at all to take my time to truly cherish the only woman I wanted to cherish.
To love.