Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65335 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
So far, it is already round three today, and it’s only ten in the morning.
I have a small office at the back of the store, which is, as most pawnshops are, a small brick building set smack dab in the middle of a busy street with lots of foot traffic. The building isn’t new, and it was a pawnshop for a long time before Granny gave me my new mission.
I’m not on Operation Take Down Bad Guys and Kick Serious Ass. Right now, I’m on the mission of making sure my brother is adjusting well to life as a parent, a partner, and a semi-retired person. I wonder why Alden didn’t need us watching over his shoulder. Granny is more worried about Ransom, but maybe it’s because he’s a parent now. Alden chose to remove himself from our lifestyle, whereas Ransom kind of had it forced on him by Granny, and she wants to make sure he’s okay.
He’s more than okay, as I keep telling her. He’s doing great. He’s not bored because he watches Maya while Ayana is taking her master’s in business. It was a decision they made together. Thank goodness Ransom had tattooing skills. He runs his own shop here now, though he’s had to hire a few artists to fill in for him until Maya is older. I used to imagine him working on something outside the family, and for some reason, I always thought about IT. I guess because it’s the most natural thing to think about when you’re good at hacking.
It always made me laugh to think of Ransom wearing a suit and fixing boring computer problems for people who use their CD drives as drink holders. I’ve heard about this. PEBCAK. I’ll just leave it at that. I can’t see Ransom having the patience to deal with PEBCAK—the problem exists between chair and keyboard, meaning people.
“Should I tell him to stick that banana where the sun doesn’t shine?” Sher asks from the doorway of my office.
“No!” I stand up quickly, shaking my head. “No, sorry. I was in a fog. I’m coming.”
“Oh, a fog bog. A mind fog bog. I get those all the time. It’s early, and it’s Monday morning. I think there’s a full moon tonight. That would make a lot of sense. The hair is coming out early today, I tell you.”
I chuckle. “Have you ever considered a career in stand-up comedy? I think you’d be good at it.”
Sher beams at me and gives me a moony-eyed look that I quickly ignore. Not only will I not get involved with an employee, but I…well, I’m never going to get involved with anyone. I know Granny’s real reason for sending me here isn’t just to watch over Ransom and Ayana and Maya. She’s hoping I’ll fall madly and deeply in love with Ayana’s best friend, Cass. The whole kidnapping thing might have brought us together, and after that, Granny’s pretty much interfered, throwing me her way.
Granny knows everything about my past, and while she holds out hope that I can live a normal life and be happy doing all that with someone—a soulmate or whatever—I know the truth. I might be an easygoing, funny guy on the surface, but that doesn’t reach even so far as skin deep. Granny knows me. She should know that. She should know I’m wrecked for romance and that I’ll never, ever date or get married or do any of that stuff.
At the front, I found out Sher wasn’t kidding about the banana. Also, thankfully, the banana wasn’t a code for something else. There’s a young kid standing behind one of the display counters with canvas shoes, baggy shorts, and an even baggier band T-shirt. He’s sporting a man bun, and he has a banana set on the counter.
I walk over casually and paste on my best I can do the whole PEBCAK deal smile. I treat all customers the same, whether they bring treasures or junk, easy or difficult. I know a smile and kindness can disarm people, and it’s always better to hide the lemony, scary side of myself and just be kind but firm. I guess that’s basically my life philosophy.
“Can I help you?” I ask in a level tone.
The kid—because he’s not much more than eighteen or nineteen, and to me, who’s an ancient thirty-one, eighteen was a longgggg time ago—says, “Uh, yeah. Want to sell you this banana.”
“Okay. Can you tell me what’s special about it?”
You know, I don’t really mind being here for the time being. San Diego is warm. Even the winters, which we’re dead in the middle of, are warm. I don’t mind not freezing my arse off for now. I’ve learned that nothing is permanent, and this, too, shall pass. I’ve been trained to have patience and bide my time. Unlike my brother, Ransom, I wear my scars on the inside, and that’s where I’m scariest. Until then, fuck it. I can grin like I’m not the devil in a sandy blonde, slightly Viking-looking package and deal with all sorts of banana-selling cheesewads.